What if we took all the TTWD couples in blog land and we all moved into the same virtual neighborhood of life? What street would you live on? What would each house look like? Would we have an annual block party and a barbecue?
You know because I have shared as a newbie here in blog land, that Storm and I were trying to figure out where we "fit" last month. In this discussion, I was talking about the spectrum ..... and Storm classified us as French Vanilla. Me, "So we're not Vanilla ...... but if we're French Vanilla, then what does that make the couples that practice more intense things than we do? Storm's answer, "Rocky Road." I laughed at him and he laughed at himself. (Told you, own blog. Although he'd be taking half of my material with him, which is actually his material, and I am not done stealing his yet.)
Here is how you get to the TTWD neighborhood: You go north on Flogger Freeway for 2 miles and then east on Erotica Expressway for 12 miles. Take HOH Highway and turn right at the stop light (south) onto Fire Dance Freeway for 7 miles until you hit the Route (66 +3) Exit and go east for 3.1 miles until you hit the big sign on the right that says This Thing We Do Home Association. Make a right. Welcome.
The Vanilla houses on the block would look like this: They would have a deluxe barbecue grill, a fenced in back yard, and two dogs as pets. Their sex drawer would contain a vibrator, the book The Joy of Sex, and some KY jelly just to keep things moving smoothly. The sex is mostly missionary, but they do mix things up a bit. The husband knows where his wife's special button is and knows how to manipulate it and insert his plug-in as efficient as a 1960's switchboard operator. There could be a swat or two on the bottom here and there in playful fun, but the wife is hoping for something more. She's is inquisitive and is dying to talk more intimately with her neighbor just a few houses down......
The French Vanilla houses would have lots of interesting utensils in the kitchen, a coffee table book called The Little Bit Naughty Book of Blow Jobs, which they would put away when company that does not live on their street comes over. There would be a drawer in the bedroom containing several types of vibrators, some handcuffs, and many spanking implements other than what is found in the kitchen. There would be playful spankings during the day, or firm swat here or there, and regular spankings served mostly for discipline, some for fun, and some just because it's really kinky. The wives are expert blow job givers and would put the Owl on the commercial, "How Many Licks does it take to get to the Center of a Tootsie Pop" to shame. The husbands are excellent at spanking. And there are lots of candles in every room at the ready for a romantic evening. They would have either cats or chickens for pets.... but not tigers like they do at the house next door.............
The Rocky Road houses would be the scariest looking house on the block, but possibly the most interesting. Big like the Adam's Family house, cleaner, but still somehow everything there is in black and white. Some of us in the neighborhood would stay well clear of this house, but others of us would come out of our houses just to stare at theirs sometimes in wonder or with a little bit of fear. Instead of a sex drawer, they would have a sex toy crate which contains every spanking implement known to mankind and they all have individual names, a nice buffet of plugs, and some more serious restraints. Perhaps they have a play room with a refrigerator well stocked with ice cubes, ginger root, and hard liquor. Their coffee table books would be the entire collection of Sleepy Beauty by Anne Rice. We would imagine their pets would be exotic like tigers, but in actuality they'd just be Tarantulas and Ravens. Their sex could be described as scratchy........and wet. Except when they overdo it, then it is just waterlogged. (This happens in every household.)
So this TTWD neighborhood association would have to come together on a few things. We would need our own traffic cop for all of the HOH signals going on. He would rotate from street to street according to where the loudest spankings are taking place. We would vote on things like names for streets. Some examples include: Punishment Path, Lurkers Loop, Crop Corner, Paddle Place, Submission Street, Dominate Me Drive, Restraints Road, Lean In Lane, Cane Court, Writers' Way, Bend Over Blvd., and Spankers Square.
Our TTWD neighborhood association would have somewhat of a schedule. Some of us would be at Brunch on Sundays, practice maintenance on Mondays, we'd be be grateful on Thursdays as well as celebrate Throw Back Thursdays. Some of us would also make our contributions on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays or Saturdays....... or when we are done traveling or get back from our road trips, enjoying our grandchildren, and our fishing trips (okay, my fishing trip.) We would send the men out to golf a couple of days a week so we gals can get together and have coffee or lunch and share our spanking secrets, sex toy reviews, new books, and why we did or did not get spanked yesterday. Each house would be equipped with a "Do Not Disturb" sign to put in their front window outside of these regularly scheduled events for extra times of sex, play, spanking, general kinkery, and nekkidness.
There would need to be a few empty houses in each street for those of us who want to move around a little bit, experiment, or aren't quite sure where we fit yet .... not according to anyone else's standards or opinions, but just trying to find their own comfortable place. For example, someone might ask, "Where ya going this weekend, Windy?" Me, "Rocky Road. But, I am just dipping my toes in their swimming pool ...... just trying to see a little bit of what it is all about down there...... but I will be back because sometimes I'm a little scared there."
So this is what I think our TTWD neighborhood would look like. But, I do need to be careful what I assume..... because what I think I don't see at the Vanilla house may just be very well hidden and they not only serve French Vanilla and Rocky Road at their house, they've got a big stash of Moose Tracks, too.
So what street would you and your man live on?