I, not Storm, wrote all of the following. I was inspired to do this because I thought if we gals would just slow down sometimes and see ourselves through our husband's eyes, we'd sure give ourselves a lot more credit and feel very feminine or sexy more often than we do, even when we're not trying.
Him: I am just an ordinary, work your butt off type guy. I love my wife so much. I'm often dog tired at the end of my work day, but I do try to help around the house so that my wife doesn't have to do every domestic thing on the face of the earth..... well, in our house and in our yard. I am quite satisfied with my wife and the attention she gives me in the bedroom. I struggle with sharing my emotions and feelings, but this does not mean that I don't experience them and it doesn't mean that I am embarrassed to share them with her. I'm not. As a man, I know how to listen to her concerns and I honestly try to work on things that need improvement from my end of the marriage. My wife seems to want something more, but I can't always figure out what that is. And even if she spells it out in plain English for me, there are just some concepts that I cannot wrap my head around. What seems to go through a woman's brain in any one given day would be enough to make a man's explode on day 2.
If there was one thing I could change about my marriage it would be that I wish my wife could see how feminine she is to me. I wish she could see herself through my eyes because if she could, she would not feel lacking in any area whatsoever. Just the touch of her soft hand upon my arm or leg or thigh as she accidentally brushes up against me in the kitchen or wherever makes me immediately aware of her femininity. I look down at my hands and see the rough sandpapered callouses and I wonder how she could ever enjoy my touch the way I enjoy hers. She is soft....... we are older now and both softer in lots of places, but she has always been soft and curvy to me. I love the way she looks in jeans because I can see her tush. I love when she is sitting around the house in sweat pants because that means she is relaxed enough to also not be wearing a bra under her t-shirt. And although she might not realize how many times her nipples turn hard for various reasons throughout the day, I certainly don't miss when this happens EVER. And, yes, it is sexual, but it is also just feminine and her ..... I think about all those soft places on her that she dislikes and I love ..... and then I see her hard nipples. The contrast of her softly going about her day as her nipples are hard and proud just about does me in. I am careful not to say too much about this because I don't want her being self-conscious and start wearing a bra. I don't care that her breasts are lower than they were 30 years ago when we were first married. Her body has become what it is supposed to be ....... it has carried our children inside of her ....... and nursed them to a healthy life outside of her. And on this sweat pants, no bra wearing day, she often has her hair thrown up in some sort of knot on the top of her head, which she thinks makes her look sloppy. But, I love it because I love looking at the back of her sexy smooth neck.
My name is Storm and I approve this message.
So...... what do your think your guy would want you to know about yourself? Maybe you could ask him. That's what I did after I wrote this. I wanted to see if I could accurately describe some of his thoughts. His statement in orange up there is the answer to my question.
Wow, this is such a wonderful and beautiful post. This made me smile so much :) Storm's love shines through this post.
We are most definitely our own worst critic and it's sometimes difficult to believe or accept a compliment from our guys..not that I''m saying we think he is lying. More that we find it hard to believe he feels that way.
If only we could see ourselves through their eyes, and vice versa for that matter.
Hi, Roz! So pleased to hear you enjoyed this post. I am very blessed that Storm is my Love. Yes, we gals are too hard on ourselves, aren't we? Even receiving compliments from our guys is a challenge (and I'm not sure we're so comfortable hearing praise from our friends either)..... I think when gals have strong friendships, it makes us better women and more confident, too! And, yes, I hope Storm can see himself through my eyes, too! I'd ask him to write a post on that, but he might spank me! HA! Thanks, Roz! Hugs! WindyDelete
I loved this post Windy!! Parts of it sounded so much like Sir Steve and myself... he sees me so differently than the way I see myself...ReplyDelete
You two sound so accepting of each other and so in love -- nice to read!!
Hi, MoringStar! I left a big old message for you on your blog regarding this topic! We both (all) need to be kind to ourselves, right?!! Storm is the love of my life and he tells me the same, so we'r on the same page there. :) Thanks, MStar! Hugs! WindyDelete
I am so impressed with your efforts here. You have gone deeply into Storm's psyche to try to verbalize what he might be thinking. Not sure I would do as well with Sam, but you have thrown down the challenge. I will think about it. Besides saying "I love you" to me all the time, lately he has taken to bear hugs accompanied by the words.....
"You are so good for me."
Hugs From Ella
You are so kind. Thank you for your encouragement. Laughing at "you threw down the challenge." Well, I think you are quite capable to get inside Sam's head. After all, you're already clearly in his heart and his lizard brain (ha!) and now his bear hugs. It sounds like Sam loves you to pieces!! Yay! Thanks, Ella! Hugs! Windy
Once again, a post with a challenge! Like Ella just said, the challenge has been made. I love what Storm says about how he sees you. I know you have told me about your ttwd talks and now you are sharing. Are you sharing the others too? I love the way Storm captures who you are now. He recongizes the changes, but loves still what he sees. I just love this, Windy. Jack and I will be talking. Although I already know what he will say. This is what love is........Thank you for your wonderful, insightful post.
I didn't mean to challenge anyone.... just encouraging you gals to ask your hubbies about all the wonderful things they think of you! :) Storm has captured me way back when and in the present, too, and he makes me feel completely accepted and loved. I am glad that he lets me share all kinds of things about our relationship here in blog land and I do plan on more posts about our ttwd talks. I can't wait to hear what Jack has to say to you should you decide to share ! I am so glad this post was meaningful to you. Thank you, Meredith, for jumping into this one with both feet! Hugs! Windy
I am working on that very post.
I can't wait!
Windy, you do have some excellent, beautiful posts. Storm answered this question perfectly. I like your question - I'm not ready to ask Nick yet thought. Not wild about how I look I've spent many years trying not to be seen. Not so much not being seen by other, as not seeing myself. What would Nick say? Someday I might ask him. But not now.ReplyDelete
Thank you, PK, for your compliment. I am jumping in here a little early and starting with replying to what you said because I feel it is extremely important. You say, "Not seeing myself..." PK, that is the EXACT REASON why I wrote this post! Because we gals NEED to see ourselves how our husbands see us... they are not nearly as hard on us as we are on ourselves ... inside our heads...... I will say again, that's exactly why I wrote this. I have a ton of things wrong with me that I need to work on, but you know what? I am tired of beating myself up! If the man doesn't mind my cellulite, still loves my saggy breasts, still wants to see me naked, and doesn't care that I still carry myself like an ex-athlete, then what the heck am I so worried about? I can still work on making healthy changes in myself while being happy with my current self.Delete
There is the exception that if someone out there is married to a not so nice man, then he won't have good things to say. That would be hard for me to take, and I would never ask such a man his thoughts. But, I also wouldn't be married to that man any longer. (I hope!)
I understand that this is not a comfortable question for all of us even though we are happily married indeed! We're all at different levels of intimacy and communication within our marriages, and we have to do what fits "us", right?! Thanks, PK, for your input and your honesty!!! Hugs!! Windy
Hi Windy, :) I enjoyed reading this very much! What a cool exercise to sit and try to get inside your fella's head, as to how he sees you on a hanging around kind of day! Love that! I also love his comment about your efforts. Perfect!ReplyDelete
I've never thought about that to this extent. I will definitely do a bit of pondering in the future. We are definitely our worst critics at times. It always amazes me how we can be dressed down, in chillaxin clothes, no makeup, and to them, beautiful. Rob always tells me that he loves seeing me in jeans and sneakers, no makeup necessary. It's his fav way for me to be. That's kind of sexy really... right? Great post! Many hugs,
Hi, Katie! I'm happy to her you enjoyed this piece of writing. Thank goodness he agreed that I had written was accurate otherwise I'd have no post in addition to being wrong! Ack! LOL!Delete
Glad this one is making you think. We gals do need to give ourselves more credit, yes. Sounds like your Rob loves the real you, Katie! It is very sexy indeed that he is attracted to you "au natural"! Woo! Hoo! Thanks for reading and discussing, Katie! Hugs! Windy
I just asked my guy what he thinks about me. First he said, “ you’re my wife, my best friend, the mother of my children and I love you with all my heart. Then I asked him more ..... he said, “no matter if it is morning, noon or night you always look good to me. He knows I am my own worst critic. I can ask if I need more make-up or if I need Spanx.... lol and he always says I look beautiful.ReplyDelete
Windy, this was a great post and I loved how you wrote Storms response. Why can’t we see what our guys see?!
Hi, Minelle! Well, you just went right for it here with your man! Yay! He said wonderful things about you. It's so wonderful to hear that he sees you as beautiful no matter what! I don't know why we can't see ourselves as our guys do... but I think the dialogue here is a good place for all of us to encourage one another to try to figure that out. Thanks, Minelle, for sharing what your man thinks. I'm happy for you! Hugs! WindyDelete
Oops, thought we were supposed to ask! Lol I’m a dork!Delete
Minelle, You did GREAT!! You were supposed to ask if you want to! I love your Scottsman's answers and I am sure the other gals do, too! I'm so glad you shared!! You two are wonderfully in love! Thank you for asking and telling!! Hugs! WindyDelete
So you know how Storm sees you, now you need to see yourself through his eyes and don’t put yourself down. No, that’s not easy but so worthwhile in the long run.ReplyDelete
It may be my age but I don’t really have any hang ups any more. I’m happy in my own skin, cellulite, flabby tummy and all. I look in my mirror at the lines on my face but Harry says I’m beautiful and I gladly accept that’s how he sees me. He’s the one that counts, after all.
Thought provoking post, Windy.
Hello, Rosie! You're exactly right and that is what I am trying to do by writing this post.... see myself as he does. I don't know if it is your age or not, but it certainly is maturity, experience, self-esteem, and the deep and steady love between you and Harry that all play a role in your not having hangups anymore. Good for you! It is a very healthy reminder that Storm is the only one that matters, Rosie. Thank you! Hugs! WindyDelete
Frank read this post before I did, Windy ... and as I grabbed my iPad and morning coffee, he commented ... "Windy posted today and its a good one" ... and he was right!ReplyDelete
As you know I have a couple of posts on this very topic that describe Frank "emphasizing" how much he appreciates all my assets and does not appreciate any negative thoughts I have about them. I don't have to ask what it is he appreciates. He openly tells me often ... i.e. ... a rear with a perfect amount of meat which is a fair bit more than the boney butt I had when we were young; natural breasts the size many people pay a lot of money to get, and like Storm, he loves the braless look. He loves how soft my skin has become with age, especially on the inside of my thighs and that secret heart spot on my lower back. He sees me as beautiful, whether its in jeans and tees and no makeup, or the fully done up girly girl in a dress ... okay, if I did ask, I could get him to confess he thinks the girly girl is drop dead gorgeous ... haha!
... so overall, I definitely know how Frank sees me and since ttwd, I work hard to try to see myself through his eyes ... hugs! ... nj
Hi, NJ !! Tell Frank 'thank you' from me and that I am glad he enjoyed this post. Also, please tell him I have a request that he give you a few good smacks on your rear for taking forever to publicly comment on this post!!! hahaha (PK has taught me this technique of wanting to occasionally tell Storm on me, so you can blame her, in part!)Delete
Yes, I (we) do know from your posts that Frank openly tells you all the wonderful things he thinks of you and that he does not like you viewing yourself negatively either! From what you have written here, that man loves you and your body Woo! Hoo! Aww, he does love your "girly girl look" very much and he even helps with that when he paints your fingernails like the professional he is!
I'm happy to hear that you do work hard on seeing yourself through Frank's eyes and that it seems to have been majorly reinforced with the ttwd !!
I am always happy to have you here reading my stuff and taking the time to be engaging in the comment section. We all learn from each other's posts and from the follow up discussions. Thanks, NJ! (and Frank!) Hugs! Windy
this is very much in line with my song choices and what I wrote my thankful thursday about this week :-) thank-you for sharingReplyDelete
Hi, Terps! Yes, it does line up with Wind Beneath My Wings and You Raise Me Up! We must have been thinking similar things last week! Thanks for commenting! Hugs! WindyDelete
I was actually referring to my post that will go up tomorrow (which I have already written but not posted yet) but you are right, the songs from last week fit the theme too. :-) HugsDelete
Okay, Terps, we'll include all your songs! LOL! I will be there tomorrow to find out what the next 2 are! Hugs! WindyDelete