I was naturally doing things the way a submissive would during a spanking when I really didn't know too much about it. When I would bend over the side of the bed and the swats would begin, I loved when Storm hit both cheeks and the inside of each sweet spot at the same time, even though it would be many years before I even knew what the "sit spot" was in a spanko's life. My body responded by pushing its greedy backside up and out, hungry for more. I didn't learn that anywhere. How the heck did I know this?
Twenty-five years ago you had to ferret out a lot of sexual variety in books to find your particular proclivity. Although sometimes I found something here and there that sort of got my attention, for the most part it was what I considered back then as Rocky Road. I think this is where some of my distress and guilt stems from. In order to get to the spanking part of literature, if there even was one, I had to sift through a lot of things in the world of kink that I was not bent toward at all. (But, I was bent over!)
Please know that I am not saying that other people are wrong for what turns them on in a consensual relationship or what they like to read about or view but may or may not want to actually experience in real life for themselves. I am simply trying to explain my own feelings for myself within the context of my sexual relationship with my husband.
I admit that my sexual needs have changed a bit over the years. I can now identify that they evolved into the need for discipline, but it never occurred to me that this kind of relationship existed. And then, Introducing the internet! I discovered DD.
These days, I no longer feel distressed about being spanked. TTWD has changed that for me and I really am so glad about that. I'm not exactly sure why, but using spanking as discipline makes it more real for me. Blogging wives/women unveiling their spanking practices together with their husbands/partners in healthy lifestyles has played a huge part in easing my mind. And I do think now that Storm and I could perhaps revisit some of the kinky kind of spanking we used to do and I wouldn't feel distressed about it at all. (See paragraph 1, minus the guilt!)
I think I want 2 things. First, I want the spanking to be real, and second, I want Storm to be in control. The D/S way that he used to spank me makes me feel his control, and the authenticity behind being spanked for discipline in TTWD is the root of my security.
I think I want 2 things. First, I want the spanking to be real, and second, I want Storm to be in control. The D/S way that he used to spank me makes me feel his control, and the authenticity behind being spanked for discipline in TTWD is the root of my security.