Sunday, March 17, 2019

Three Dogs and a Penguin, but no Rabbit

There aren't many days right now in my part of the world where I can go outside for a walk as I am listening to a book on Audible or to an interesting podcast.  Since before the holidays, I have been riding  my new recumbent bike instead.   Don't worry, I am not going to tell you how many miles I ride or how many calories I burn because I imagine you don't really care.  But that is okay because I don't want to read in blog land about your exercise routine either unless you shoved your FitBit or step counter or whatever the heck those things are up your arse for some interesting reason.  I can't say that I'd want to know what you did with it while it was up there though, but I do hope you washed it somehow afterwards.  Hand sanitizer, anyone?

So recently, but not today, I was able to go on a walk during a little warm up in the weather.  This past summer and fall I did so much walking that I know where the pain in the neck dogs live .... you know, the ones that come running out at you and their owners say every time "She doesn't bite....blah blah blah....." Yeah, lady, well, what if I bite? 

So I learned what times to avoid certain houses based on their dog-running-free-in-the-yard-time.  I adjusted the time I went out recently, but as luck would have it, the same dog with the same stupid owner came rushing out at me again.  I wanted to ask the lady, "Do you live in your yard with your dog ?   How could it be that every time I walk by your house, your dog comes running out at me?  I changed the time of day that  I walk and it still doesn't matter... you know anti-stalking.... when you learn someone's habits and schedules so that you know how to AVOID being in the same place they are, say EVER!"

One more loop around the subdivision and another dog comes charging at me.  Ugh!

And then at the very end of my walk, I saw a penguin.  Impossible you say!  And you're RIGHT!  I gave it a confused, but closer dirty look, and discovered that it was just a small black spot light that someone has on the edge of their lawn....... with some red around it.......   see here is where it gets really ridiculous.  I thought the red was a scarf.   So there is a penguin sitting in someone 's yard wearing a  winter scarf just because it's been mighty cold in my non-indigenous-to-penguins-state this winter?  Pffffttt.  Some stress ridding walk that was -- not!  I left the house stressed and I came home with an imaginary friend penguin.

Then, even more recently, Storm told me that he was out getting our mail when the neighbor's giant dog came charging at him, but Storm acted excited to see him, so the dog became his immediate friend.  The two males sniffed each other........ I mean, the dog sniffed Storm's crotch, he petted him and the dog gave him a body hug.  Then Storm said he started walking back to the house, "But the dog came running after me and shoved his nose in my crack.  And then the dog's lady owner announces from her front yard, "Oh, right up the butt!"  Storm was slightly violated by a canine and now the whole neighborhood hears about it.

I'll take the imaginary penguin over that experience any day.  I don't want a dog's nose or a FitBit or anything else shoved up my butt, especially without my permission!



14 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness Windy, I am laughing so hard right now. You crack me up (pardon the pun lol). It's always a pleasure visiting here:)

    See, that is exactly why I don't walk around suburban streets. I havr have a real phobia of being rushed at by dogs, even though I used to have dogs. Go figure!

    You don't want to hear about my fitness regime? Aww. You do know I'm part of Fondles' fitness gtoup *grin*. I just have to add I don't have a fitbit or step counter though lol

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hi, Roz! I am laughing while reading your response! Flipping dogs, right?! The little ones are the worst because they have attitude and I am afraid they're going to bite my foot or leg! GAH!

      You know, Roz, for you, because you are so sweet to every single one of us here in blog land, yes, I would read about your exercise every time you posted it .... I would do all the conversions from kilometers to miles so I know how flipping far you walked. I would convert your kilograms into pounds to celebrate your weight loss if you put such things on your own blog. Feel free to email them to me if you want! LOL! However, I draw the line at two things: 1. I have no idea how many steps are in a mile and I do not wish to have that unnecessary mathematical information in my head. 2. That whole Weight Watchers thing where there are points assigned to each food item..... no way do I want to know that crap every time I pick up an apple or a piece of bacon. I'd be thinking of some stupid number for the rest of my life!

      Thanks for the fun, Roz! And, "You go girl," on your exercise routine! Hugs! Windy

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  2. I'm sorry - walk did not sound very relaxing...but sounds like you were able to find the humor in the situation so that is good. :-)

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    1. Hi, Terps! I'm okay! Yep, found the humor, you are right! And I got a silly post out of it as well. Hugs! Windy

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  3. Well, for my first visit here in ages, I found a funny, happy post from you, Windy. Thanks so much. The penguin was my favorite, of course. My advice - Walk softly and carry a big stick. Borrowed and adapted from Teddy Roosevelt.

    Hugs From Ella

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    1. Hi, Ella! Welcome back! You have been missed by all! Glad you returned when I wrote a happy post. Love the TR quote! HA! Ella, when you get a chance, please go back one post and read my "Fishing for a Spanking?" post...I think you will find it quite funny and there is a name drop (yours) by me in it that you will get a kick out of as well! Hugs, Windy

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  4. Still laughing! I love your friendly penguin, much better than a barking dog. I am not into dogs sniffing my privates at all.

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    1. Hi, Blondie! Laughing is good! Yes! I'm glad you liked my penguin.... (most) dogs suck! Ugh! Thanks for reading and laughing along! Hugs, Windy

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  5. Windy,
    Walking in your neighborhood sounds a little dangerous and most interesting. I am in agreement with many......... I like the red scarf and the penguin. More than that, I love little wWindy online under the covers at night. Right over there on the left!
    Meredith

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    1. Meredith,
      I think your neighborhood might be worse, but if I reveal all what goes on around here, yours is way safer. I will save that for another time! HA! You liked the little penguin guy, too, huh? I have to admit that I was not thrilled to meet him at all. Laughing at the "little Windy" under the covers.... I was confused for about 2 seconds until you told me in which direction to look. On my own dang blog, I forgot what I put over there. Glad you like it! I often do look somewhat like that while blogging! Thanks for the fun comments! Hugs, Windy

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  6. You sure know how to take a walk on the wild side, Windy! ... an adventure around every corner. You maybe need to harness up ol' Barky and take him along for protection ... haha! ... I am sure he would have a word or two for misbehaving pups ... fun post! ... hugs! ... nj

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    1. Hi, NJ! Yes, our neighborhood could be called "Where the Wild things are!" Harness up our pet bird, huh? LOL!! He'd freeze in 1.2 seconds! But, he would be telling everybody and everything the way he feels for sure! Thanks for the laughs! Hugs, Windy

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  7. There are no words! LOL! :) :)

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    1. Hi, Shell! Well, find some words gal, and go write on your blog! Get busy! HA! Glad you laughed. Thanks for stopping by when you've been so busy! I appreciate it. Hugs, Windy

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