I just called to say I love you

There is a friend of mine with whom when I hang up the phone, I always say, "I love you," and she says the same back to me, but I  have sometimes heard a little bit of laughter in her voice.  Not in a making fun of me way, but maybe a she gets a kick out of me kind of way?  Either way, I'm not offended, but it made me really think about why it is I do this.  Intentionally.  Every time.  It would bother me if I didn't say it when I really felt I want to say it!

I don't go around telling everybody I love them because I actually don't love them and they don't love me either and so what!  In fact, I prefer to be either with Storm or home alone and I have to force myself to do things that involve other human beings whose DNA  is not in some way halvsies with mine or vice versa.  Windy, you could have just said your parents and your offspring.  I could have, but it's not nearly as fun.  What about your siblings?  You do know if my siblings had the same DNA as me, we'd be identical twins or triplets, etc., right?  Check this chick out here:

Shouldn’t my sister and I have the same ancestry results for our DNA? We have the same parents.- A curious adult from California    https://genetics.thetech.org/ask-a-geneticist/same-parents-different-ancestry

Yikes, a clueless adult from California, although she was smart enough not to use her real name.  Maybe she would make a good blogger?  After all, she'd be writing about the meaning behind TTWD and not the letters DNA.  (The article referenced above is actually a really good one that explains the basics of how siblings can have differently ancestry.....  it made sense to even a non-science person like me.)

When I am shopping, the friendly folks seem to find me easily even though I am not all that interested in being seen or found.  I was in an aisle at a craft store (for supplies a family member needed, not me as I'm not crafty!) when this teenage boy a few aisles over was saying loudly to everyone in his path,  I love you!  I love you!  As his voice got closer aisle by aisle, I could hear that he was mentally challenged and so I knew I would soon be the lucky recipient of his indiscriminate benevolence.  Sure enough as he came into my view he shouted, I love you!  And I told him right back, I love you, too, because what is not to love and appreciate about that boy!?

Okay, so I don't haphazardly tell others that I love them when I don't.  I have to be in possession of a very strong emotional connection with someone to say it.  Remember, I'm a jock.... a tough one... who fishes..... grrr.....!!

However, from the time that I can remember, I drove both of my parents crazy with telling them I love you before I went to bed every night.  If I got up for a drink of water or to use the bathroom, I'd tell them again, I love you!   I don't know why I did it....... except for the fact that I did indeed love them.  I think part of it was that my anxiety seemed to kick in when I was alone in my dark room and I was looking for a verbal reassurance in their return I love you that would keep me comfortable through the night.  My father worked different shifts that sometimes meant he was not at home all night with us and so I think I was trying to offer my mom reassurance as well.  Although she most likely wanted me to shut the heck up and go to sleep already!  And maybe part of it was that I thought something was going to eat me one of these nights and so I'd better tell my parents that I love them just so they would never forget.

So when I speak on the phone with someone I care about deeply, whether it is a close family member, or a dear friend, I am not afraid that someone is going to eat me that day except for maybe Big Foot while I am fishing when Storm has his back turned because he's going to the bathroom in the bushes or he is distracted by whatever is in his snack bag.  But, I still want to say I love you because I truly do.

The Not so Serious Housekeeping Spanking

I got jipped. And spanked.

 Last weekend, I spent 8 hours doing a very big chore for the kid for health reasons.  (Somebody was about to call the Health Department on the condition of said child's room.  That person was me.)   I knew that what I faced rivaled the Great Pacific Garbage Patch or  Stanton Island's Fresh Kills Dump  (sounds like I just went fishing -- I did, but I'l get to that in a minute.  Don't worry, I washed my hands before typing this.)  I expressed as I was knee deep into the chore 5 hours later, that the kid owed me and had to do some of MY chores.  I should have got it in writing.

Five days later, Storm held me accountable for a couple of the things that I was responsible for in our ttwd relationship that had gone ...... well, undone.  I didn't notice because I had unexpected company again and I was out of the house much of the time with him.  My father took me fishing!  Woot!  Okay, Windy, you were out having fun and neglecting your chores.  First of all, zip your lips, and second of all, fishing can be a vigorous kind of activity.

Let me explain that not all types of fishing are the same.  (Sorry, Rosie, you can skip this part if you want.)  Sitting in a lawn chair and falling asleep with your fishing pole in one hand and an adult beverage in the other is probably relaxing.  However, when we salmon fish in creeks and lakes on the shore as we do, we sometimes  have to climb and fish off of huge rocks.  Yes, there are little rocks, too, but not the kind we use for landscaping where we can sink down a bit and achieve stable grounding.  No, these little devils are just barely big enough for us to step on and God only knows if they're going to hold our weight (they don't) and so we walk along the rocky shore looking like fully grown straight men trying to stand upright in 5 inch stilettos.  Or we look like one of those runway models forced to wear 9 inch chunky heals while walking like a flamingo and oops, there goes an ankle ...... and she tries to right herself only for it to happen again and now she looks like a newborn colt trying to find its legs.  Add a fishing pole to that classy look and about 80 pounds and there you have me, walking along the shore.

Once we find a spot, we're standing on very hard ground, sometimes at 45 degree angles to get to the water. The wind is often a factor here, so if we don't have the greatest balance, it will blow us sideways on already unsteady ground.  My dad is not really old, but I'm old and he's my dad, so he's older.  So I am trying to keep an eye on him.  There are no  restrooms when you're fishing like this, there are no fast food restaurants, so you bring the picnic with you in your backpack -- creamy peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwiches, beef jerky, granola bars, and cold bottled water.   It's wonderful,  but it's heavy and cumbersome, and you haven't even put one of your  3 fishing poles in the water yet!    There are not just worms to carry.  There are red worms, night-crawlers, spawn sac, wax worms.......... all carried in an iced down container, and then a separate battery operated bucket that blows oxygen into the water for your 3 dozen minnows.  That's just the live bait.

Fishing is a blast, but it is also very hard work and we often go home fish-less.  This time, my dad caught a small salmon ......... and guess who had to put it in the wire basket and tie it to the rocks so it doesn't float away.  How do you tie it to a rock, Windy?  You tell me, then we'll both know!

So, two days of this and I am exhausted.  The two days before that, I spent cleaning the landfill.  I had just grilled steaks and Storm and I finally have some time alone during dinner. .......... While I washed my hands well and changed my clothes, I did not shower yet because I did not have time. Ugh.

I don't know about you gals, but if the "offense" isn't something truly serious, even though it holds a penalty, I like to whine about it.  "Spank her, not me!"  Of course, I am kidding, but I AM trying to get out of the spanking. "I spent 8 hours doing her chore and I'm getting spanked for it?"  Storm, "You should have stopped at hour 7 and done what you agreed to do for me."  Hmp!  Well, I guess he told me!  So we're finishing dinner and Storm says let's go take care of the spanking you have coming.  Whine. Whine.  Not my fault....... ok... etc.........

We go into the bedroom ........ I am pouting........ I bend over the bed and he pulls my pants down and I said, "I hope it stinks."
"You hope it stinks?" he laughingly repeats, "That just earned you extra!" And then, I could not stop laughing throughout the entire spanking....... and so my body is bouncing and apparently so is my ass because Storm says, "Good thing I know how to hit a moving target!  And I can spank a stinky one just as easily as a fresh one!" (And, NO, it did not stink!)

The whole spanking really wasn't a very serious one, and it's a good thing because we were both laughing so hard.   Storm just had to take a care of a little  "housekeeping" because I didn't take care of my own!

What about you ?  Do you get the kind of spanking that is important because the rules have to be reinforced, but the spanking itself doesn't turn out to be that serious?

Spanked by Homo Erectus

I received an attentive spanking toward the end of last week to help me clear my head.   Storm is all talking to me, "It's normal to think about the other person's feelings when you're trying to maintain or preserve a relationship.  We don't just think of ourselves.  It's not that you can't do what you want to do, it is that you are limiting yourself to protect the other person's feelings."  Then he spanks a while.  And then he is saying this will work out with that person and this person and you can decide blah blah blah........   A year ago, I freaked out when he mentioned someone's name or pseudo-name......... tonight, he could say first names, last names and social security numbers and I didn't even blink.

As the spanking is winding down, I sigh.  "Does my butt at least look a little smaller this week?  I've been exercising really hard."
Storm who is in no way whatsoever, a stupid man.  "Yes."  And before I can even start to laugh, he adds,  "I can hardly see it."  Then I do laugh.  *Spank*  "Oh, there it is," he quips.  *Spank*  "It's pinker than it was last week, too."

After the spanking, he gets naked and wants some attention.  I assume he wants to stand on the side of our tall bed .... his tall bed..... and then I stand on the floor and you-know.....  I say, "You want to play King of the Mountain again, I think?"
"I prefer this way unless I am tired........"
I look up at my naked hairy neanderthal of a man, and place my palms on his strong thighs. "Homo erectus?"
He offers himself forward, "I'm about to be............."

Pieces - Be True to Yourself

We often hear the phrase "be true to yourself," and I do think it's good advice, but I think  we spend most of our lives as women trying to figure out what that means exactly.  And then once we find it, it often changes, so we're back at it trying to define it again.  Sometimes I find myself thinking that I should know these things at my age........ but, every relationship, new or old, brings new challenges.  Sometimes we feel that we can make a change for ourselves because it will be good for us and sometimes we don't.

I don't want to be anywhere that I cannot be myself.  That is not to say that every situation I find myself in gets the exact same Windy.  I offer what is socially acceptable in a variety of situations and what is professional when I am working outside the home.  I also act differently according to my mood and how I am feeling physically.  We all have different roles that can completely change our disposition, but the core of who we are always stays the same.

I think life is a lot of losing parts or purposely shedding parts of oneself and then finding new pieces to replace, hopefully for the better, but not always. Sometimes we pick up toxic pieces.  In that  case,  hopefully we notice or someone we trust gently points out to us that that might not be such a good piece....... and then we remove it, take the time we need to examine it from every angle before we can let it go.  Then we walk around with an empty space for a while until we find the next appealing piece.

A problem comes in when someone else in your life wants to be the one to choose the pieces for you.  I have found that this does not happen unless it's a parent or until I've known someone for quite a while and have gone way beyond the point of confiding secrets, sometimes fun, sometimes serious with one another.   Out of misplaced loyalty to them, I accepted those pieces and really tried to make triangles fit into smaller circles.  That was painful!  I thought I was  being a loyal friend.  I didn't realize until it was too late that when a person expects you to put up with the discomfort of forcing things to fit on his/her behalf and it ends up hurting you, that it is flat out manipulation.  We all think we can identify manipulation when we see it and most of us probably can.  However, when we find ourselves in a deeply emotional relationship, it can often be much harder to recognize, accept, let alone break away from.

There have been exactly two times where I have been absolutely heartbroken over the closest friendships both online and in person that I have ever had.  Yes, had.  I found the strength within myself to finally walk away from one and just let the other one fizzle out which took emotional strength because I was the glue holding both of those friendships together all along.  Windy will call, Windy will show up, Windy will adjust, Windy will understand when I break a promise, Windy will forgive when I am too harsh, Windy will write, I'll see Windy at work and we'll have a blast ......... yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.  Until Windy stops because she is tired of holding all those pieces together.  None of that was easy -- in fact, it was hell, and it broke my friendship spirit for many years.  I loved both of those women deeply, but I couldn't self-sacrifice with them  any longer.  I am not invincible, rejection hurts, but I'd be lying if I said that my pulling completely away didn't feel just a little bit good after it was all said and done.  Not out of revenge -- out of self respect and realizing my worth.

Choose good friends.  Choose them wisely.  Choose the ones who hand you a piece of themselves and ask, "Does this fit into your life?  Do I fit? "  You'll know it's a good friendship when those pieces mostly fit..... both ways.........  and when they don't, each of you is willing to put in the work to trim the pieces together and make them comfortably fit the great puzzle of your lives.  When you find yourself able to truly be yourself, then you have succeeded in "being true to yourself" while being a really good friend at the same time.

**Adding this because of the comments of concern:  I am fine..... these hurts were past tense.... many years ago, but I have not forgotten the lessons I learned.  I figured many of us could relate in some way.*

Anxiety Sucks and Depression Blows

What kicked it all off for me was a physical problem.  I was in a restaurant with my one year old and the room started spinning and I couldn't get it to stop, which is called objective vertigo.  Subjective vertigo is when the person feels like she is the one spinning.  Both are equally barfy.  There is no better word that describes the emotional part of that first vertigo experience than PANIC.  What do I do with my baby?  How am I going to drive home?  I am going to throw up! What if I am driving and the vertigo happens again?  24 years ago, my life changed in an instant.

Repeated vertigo episodes led to many doctor visits, all kinds of tests..... some that made me dizzy on purpose to test the inner ear, and I felt like I was being tortured...... sickening.  And no answers and no medication could prevent these attacks.  Can you see why anxiety sank it's claws into my head?   I was 26.   I slept less than 2 hours a night, was eating everything in the house, but still lost way too much weight.  Turns out, doctors said all they could do was to treat the extreme anxiety that developed over the next six months as a result of the dizziness.  After years of trying this and that, there were a couple of meds that ease the nervous system that also eased some aspects of my dizziness.  Until it didn't.   Rinse and repeat like a cheap shampoo.

I am sure there are some doctors and therapists who can really help a lot of people with anxiety and depression, but I've never met one that I wanted to stick with.   Ones that I am stuck with, yes.  Laughing.  There's a difference.  Whatever.  Over the years, I have been tempted to tell them to keep the prescriptions and use it on themselves.  Or shove them where the sun doesn't shine.  Maybe it would help their condescending natures.

What I came to realize eventually was that I had suffered with undiagnosed postpartum depression.  I don't know if being treated for it would have prevented the vertigo episodes in the first place, but it may have helped me deal with not feeling what I thought I was supposed to feel as a new mother.  I loved my baby, but  major trepidation at keeping a tiny human alive and well weighed heavily on me.

 I had a wonderful pregnancy, but a very difficult delivery.  I have two words for you:  back labor.   And one more: merconium.  And a post delivery fever of 102 for mom, and an infection for the  baby.  Oh, and sign these papers for the neonatal specialist to do a spinal tap mere hours after your  baby is born.  It all just became too real too fast. My baby spent a week in intensive care, but she was the little fatty of the neonatal unit at 10 pounds. She also had as much hair on her as a monkey, and the nurses loved putting bows in her hair.  Without my permission.  Laughing.  If you know me......you'll know I had to grow into the  bows..... major jock here........ Over twenty years later, she doesn't have an athletic bone in her body and I wouldn't want it any other way.  She's very talented in her own right.

I'm old enough to remember when mental health was a huge stigma...... and I have thought for a long time that it shouldn't be any longer and that the younger generations are doing a much better job at identifying and accepting than mine ever did.   I don't know what the average age of most bloggers is, but I know those that are willing to talk about their own experiences with mental health deserve my respect for sure.  It isn't comfortable for me to share this stuff about myself, but it's the truth, it's part of life for millions of people, and maybe it will help someone understand what dealing with mental health along with  physical health issues is like.

What I am good at is escaping and that helps me mentally and emotionally.  For many years, reading played a primary role in my being able to just get out of my own head.  It still does, but to a lesser degree because I am working on finding a balance between writing, exercising, FISHING, golfing, homemaking, communicating with close friends and family, watching movies, my faith, and spending time with Storm which includes vanilla and spanking times!

Anxiety sucks.  Depression blows.  When you're in deep with one, you long for the other.  Sick.  It all makes you feel crazy, but you're not.  If you suffer from the same, then I encourage you to keep reaching a balance in your life.  Get the help you need, get quality sleep...... take care of yourself.  I'll do the same.

I'm writing part of my personal story in support of Mental Health Prompt #357

Multitasking

Most of us multitask every day.  It makes us feel like we're not wasting time and getting more things done.  Or maybe we haven't done a dog gone thing all day, or say, for almost two weeks because we've BEEN SICK AS #%@!, so we try to do everything at once to make up for it!  (Could we all stop coughing on our computer screens so that we stop spreading this awful bronchitis crap from blogger to blogger!?! I am all well now though!)  But, are we really accomplishing all that we think we are?

I  am confident that no Thanksgiving dinner was ever prepared without the main cook of the house multi-tasking.  Lots of pots with wooden spoons (our dinner guests have no idea that the lady of the house has been spanked bare butt with all of them)  in them simmering on the stove, an apple pie in the oven while you're putting the ingredients together for the pumpkin pies.  One person doing all this is task-switching very quickly, which is a form of multi-tasking.  The brain cannot actually do two things at the same time.   What is happening when we multi-task is that our brains are jumping back and forth extremely fast from one thing then back to the other so it makes it seem like we're doing two things at once.  We're not, but, it still looks and feels like we are, doesn't it?!


In one 2009 study, Stanford University researcher Clifford Nass found that people who were considered heavy multitaskers were actually worse at sorting out relevant information from irrelevant details. The study revealed that even when these chronic multitaskers were focusing on just a single task, their brains were less effective and efficient. Source  Interestingly, the more we multi-task, the shorter our attention span grows even when we're not multi-tasking. Isn't that crazy?!! That's not good news! However, Nass says that current evidence suggests that people who stop multi-tasking will be able to perform better. Whew! 

What's this got to do with TTWD, Windy?   Well, it's our HOH's who have to step in to help us focus on the task at hand when we space out, try to do too many things at once and get frazzled and crabby.  Or they make us pay for the fact that we were distracted by too many things and forgot to do something that is required or asked of us.  Such things  as forgetting to take one's medication,  or forgetting something clearly written on the grocery list.......  eggs, perhaps?  (we know who you are because you told us!   Scrambled Me. )   <<grin>>

 Also....... perhaps we should be thankful that our husbands switch hands when they're spanking our bottoms and they switch from one cheek to the other.  Hey, the break is minimal, but it's still a pause!    Tonight, Storm was spanking away with one hand on one cheek, then switched cheeks, and then he started spanking me with both hands at the same time!  I started laughing...... and coughing......  He said he was giving it to me half price.  Two for one deal.   I did not feel special and I do not like him dual-tasking like that!  Well at least he doesn't have 6 fingers on each hand... more surface area!

Okay, so I know some of you who love to do more than one thing at a time swear that you think you can really get a lot accomplished this way........ and for you multi-tasking All Stars, I have found this:

Researcher Strayer says that there is a tiny but persistent subset of the population—about two per cent—whose performance does not deteriorate, and can even improve, when multiple demands are placed on their attention.  You are either born with the neural architecture that allows you to overcome the usual multitasking challenges, or you aren’t. .Supertasker brains become less, not more, active with additional tasks: they are functioning more efficiently.  How about that?  Source

I am left with one question though that was not answered in any research that I found and that is this:  Within our little subset of the ttwd online world,  are you gals/guys who multi-task getting spanked more often or less often than those of us who feel that we can only concentrate on only one thing at a time?

P.S.  I won't throw any statistics at you for this one, but trust me that the numbers support the fact that nobody should be multi-tasking while driving. 

Twice Taken

Photo Credit: Ro Molina

"Which w-way.......do you..... w-want it?"  My words, stilted yet insistent, escape between choppy heated breaths.   Need to know.  There are several different directions he could take us.  His fingers dripping with vanilla scented oil, he has me anticipating what I know to be delicious options on our private, carnal sexual buffet.  Visual lubrication prepares our way.

It is imperative that I give myself to him exactly as he desires.  That ravenous moment when I need my life mate to possess me, to be inside of me.... somewhere.

"I love watching you squirm on my hand."  Stop.  Don't stop!  Stop!!  I am  too close.

"How do you want me?" From behind? 

His gravelly bass bedroom voice. "I want you down on your knees."  Blood flow blushes my ears.  Oooh, do I like it when he knows exactly what he wants.

I hold him -- smooth, hot, hard. First in my hand, then in my mouth.  Salt. Soap. Spicy.  Tongue concave, warmth in my throat kisses his spongy head tenderly, invitingly.  He growls.  I give brief vibrating hums in response.

Without warning, I find myself on our bed again, on my elbows and knees, both giving and receiving in honor, ready to partake.  He claims his rightful, primal place behind me as he presses up against me.  Smooth, hot, hard.

I like when he knows what he wants, but I love when he changes his mind.

My first attempt at flash fiction.  234 words.  The writing challenge was to write an erotic story less than 500 words using the sign image at the top of the page. 

The Power of Your Vagina

As I look around blog land for the past year, whether I know you behind the blog or not, I see a lot of women who are strong, and boy, do we give our guys a run for their money. (That is just a phrase, not  meant to say that women aren't earning the money, too!)  So as I get down on my knees in front of Storm .......... okay, I'm kidding.  He doesn't pay for me blow jobs.  And he'd better NEVER offer to, even in jest.  However, if "I" tell him that he owes me $100 bucks for the blow job, then THAT is funny! See what I mean by giving them a run for their money?   Why is it okay for me to say that, but not him?  Because it just is.  Heck if I know!  We may practice TTWD, and he does spank me, but I have not lost my personality.  I'm spirited, and I'm staying that way!

Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.       - Betty White

"Both sharks and vaginas have a substance called squalene. Squalene exists in shark livers and is also a natural vaginal lubricant." ¹ 🦈 Bah-dumm!  Bah-dumm! (Theme from Jaws)

Most vaginas don't have teeth like sharks, but we do have sharp bites!  Our guys endure our moodiness, our sarcasm, our flat our disrespect, and yes, they spank us for it, but most of the time they are not angry when they're spanking.  They're doing this to help us get along better with them, to settle us down, to hold us accountable, and to be kinky.  My point is that our guys put up with a lot. Mine does, anyway.  My question is why?

I am thinking that it is a good thing that God and/or evolution (I personally don't have a problem with evolution because I feel God had to get things moving somehow, so ........ whatever!)......... Where was I?   Okay, so straight men naturally have the desire for their women's boobs ...... and their vaginas!  In my opinion, they're ALL ugly.  Yours, mine, and all the accidental ones I have seen online.  BLAH!    What in the world is so attractive about them?   A warm slimy hole with hair around it.  And even if you shave, wax, buff or whatever, I've got news for you -- it's still ugly.  Then over the years, if and when there is a need or a desire for us to look at our own....... Good God....... it changes color as we age......... Then you figure you may as well poke around while you're down there and see what else is going on.  Mistake.  I am not bleaching my dirt button, but I might consider a nice lemon juice recipe if you have one.

"Studies show that women who are more confident about their vaginas have better orgasms." 2  Oh! Well, in that case, I think I can, I think I can!  

"Hair around the vaginal area grows only for three weeks. However, the hair on a person’s head can grow for up to seven years." ³

 Ah!  No wonder why those curly little suckers were on the bathroom floor, the tub, the sink (can't figure that one out!) when Storm and I were young marrieds.  The first time I got a good look at Storm's nutsack, I had no idea there was hair down there, people.  It was like the Aussie bush.  So when the two of us "got together," it must have looked like overlapping cypress trees on a Louisiana bayou.  

One patient came to a gynecologist complaining that vines were coming out of her vagina. The doctor examined her....... and she found that it was a potato that had sprouted vines. The patient told the doctor that her mother told her to put a potato in her vagina to prevent pregnancy. ⁴  Sounds like Mama had a potato for a brain. 🥔  And nobody wants tater-twats for dinner tonight.  (Although when I read that story to Storm, he said he'd take a side of knicker fries.)  

The power of the kit-kat is strong.  It has started wars and brought down entire empires.  And even when it is older and it would be understandable if it has lost some of its zest appeal........ it hasn't.  Not to our guys.   Purrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  🐈

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1,2,3,4   https://www.factretriever.com/vagina-facts