I may or may not have said it here before, but I know I said this once to a friend. Sometimes I feel that Storm and I got along better and had less stress without TTWD. This surprised my friend and perhaps it surprises you as well because TTWD is the marriage saver, the communication tool, the kinky and emotional charge for a marriage, etc....... isn't it?
The thing is, as far as what I think the average couple goes through, Storm and I didn't have too many fights over the years and we were happy sexually with one another and otherwise. We were close before we ever did DD at all. I find it peculiar that we have had many major conflicts since January of this year and that it is a bit disconcerting. I think I have figured out part of why we're so at odds recently and I don't think both of us failing at some aspects of TTWD is entirely to blame for it.
All families go through tough times of varying degrees in the great big scheme of life. Finances change, health changes, relationship issues, etc. Just after Storm and I found DD around 10 years ago, I got very sick for the second time with something that plagues me still to this day, but for right now, it is under control. Mostly. It was enough to make me resign from my career that I had worked very hard for and that I loved. I personally just went into survival mode which means I did whatever I had to do to physically get through the day here at home, to rest and to sleep, and to take prescribed medications to minimize my symptoms. I poured any and all energy I had into the kids' homework and attended all after school activities with my eyes half crossed. No kinky spanking going on for a long time probably goes without saying. This-Thing-We-What??
As I began to improve, I was able to do more little by little. We then had a high school graduation in our immediate family. But, college didn't happen for our child because she got very sick not long after graduation that took almost 3 years to get the correct diagnosis for and several more years to get to the right doctors and onto the right track back to a healthier life for her. Thank God. The precursor of my illness was bad. The subsequent 6 years of our child's illness was pretty close to hell. That is a long time to spend in what we refer to here as a family as Survival Mode.
Survival mode does not include time for planning and strategy, worrying about minor household things or close friendships. It was all about taking care of physical and then emotional health. We were down to the basics of trying to eat and trying to sleep and we weren't always successful at either one.
I am pleased to report that about six months before I met all of you here is when things started slowly getting better for the kid. Slowly back to the point where she can just barely begin to dip her toes back into living her life again. But, now comes taking on some responsibility that the kid has never faced before through no fault of her own. She is scared to death. She's not only trying to find her way-- we're carefully pushing her, but it is difficult. Many decisions need to be made and the only one who seems to want to take initiative for many of them is me. We have never gone through this stage as a family and it creates a lot of conflict. For a family that is close and has always gotten along well, to suddenly have all this turbulence is disturbing. I did not recognize us this past weekend individually or collectively. And some of what I did recognize in each of us needs to be eradicated and now! Apparently that is what Sundays are for around here -- hashing it all out as we all become more aware of each other's sacrifices during this coming back to life transition in our household.
The reason why I point out January is because I knew these life changes were coming and although they are overall healthy for all of us and most importantly, for our kid, it has truly been exhausting. I blogged that Storm and I agreed that we would put all of the above on the TTWD table. Well that table has a few plates and saucers, but it is missing the napkins, half of the utensils are upside down, and the salt and pepper shakers are nowhere to be found. I want the complete set, perfectly placed, dog gone it! Let's do this TTWD right, I say! This Thing We What-The-Flip-Is-Going-On?!
But, no matter how hard I try to set it up before dinner, it often seems like Storm accidentally steps on the too long of a table cloth hanging over the edge and it gets pulled out from underneath my work. Okay, it was an accident, but he doesn't seem to notice that my carefully set table is now all kaddywampus (Google can't agree on how to spell it either.) To say that I have been extremely frustrated with him is an understatement. I'm trying to do what I feel is best for the kid and if he thought I was doing anything but that, he would tell me. I try to ask him his opinion on almost everything before we present the ideas to the kid. I am the planner, the strategist, the implementer, and the enforcer. I don't want to be....... I want him to be all that, but he told me those are some of my strengths and since I know he is right, I feel to continue to ask him to be in charge of all that is kind of like me asking him how to set up each person's dinnerware on the table when I clearly know how to do it myself. He is stepping up in the enforcer area though, and for that I am mighty relieved. He just isn't used to me needing him to lead me, guide me, and calm me in such tumultuous troubled waters. He is in charge of many different areas of our lives and for that, I am grateful. But, I want our family dishes to be like the happy and magical ones that float around on the animated cartoon movie, Beauty and the Beast when they sing Be Our Guest. We'll keep trying and hopefully we will find our way just before that last rose petal falls.
How's the table setting at your house?
Tuesday, May 28, 2019
Sunday, May 19, 2019
Vibrator Set to Squirrel
In my limited experience with an exterior battery operated massager....... or five, the first level on the vibrator sounds a bit like a normal hmmmmmmmmmm. No sweat. But, after that, I don't know what the darn thing does because Storm almost always has the controls -- I just give him the thumbs up when I occasionally need things to intensify. If you've never used one, please keep reading because it's funny! Also, it will get you ready for the time in your future when you may NEED one and if you are not there yet in your life, then kindly zip it. Or brag about it in the comment section. Either way, keep reading. Please.
Well, this particular time, Storm and I were having some very nice lovemaking, our ugly parts were being nicely co-mingled, when he just suddenly went still. Every woman knows what that means. DO NOT MOVE YOURSELF, FLEX YOUR VAGINA, OR EVEN BAT AN EYELASH IN THE DARK BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SEE IT, HE WILL FEEL IT AND THEN HIS PART IN THE GAME WILL BE OVER! Okay, so I am still as a garden gnome (but slightly less creepy.) He is turning his head sideways in concentration, maybe thinking of the names of the Seven Dwarfs, I have no idea. I'm barely breathing.
At times like these, I'd just prefer he finish and make it feel good for himself and then take care of me afterwards. At our age, if either one of our orgasms gets interrupted, it's pretty much game over. There is sometimes no coming back from it. Unintentional pun as I hate that word and any derivative of it. Although I guess I prefer it over the term "nutting." Disgusting. I don't know about you, but I am not married to a giant squirrel.
So, it was game over shortly after that because of the interruption but not for the reason you think. His southern region decided he was too tired to continue for now, but I know Storm's brain is in control of that part of his body, so he is still interested in what's going on from my end of things. So I ask for the vibrator and he hands it to me. The little light comes on and highlights my southern region ..... exactly what and where I want him to be looking to see if I can get him all worked up again. So we're at the hmmmmmmmmm level and it is nice, but I was interrupted earlier too, so I am having to work harder at it. I decide to try to turn the thing up myself. I have no idea what I pressed, but the little light went from blue to green and the tempo went from a smooth hmmmmmmmm to a jolting OOMPH-OOMPH-ZIIIIIP, OOMPH-OOMPH-ZIIIIP !!! I felt like someone threw my clitoris into the high speed spin cycle in an off balanced heavy load of sopping wet blankets in the wash machine. However, my big hairy squirrel of a husband liked what he saw and then it was game on again for him! Just like a squirrel hiding his nuts in the fall only to pleasantly discover them again come winter. Although I did read once that squirrels do not actually remember where they hide all their nuts....... they only recover about 26% of them .......... I'm pretty sure that Storm knows where a 100% of his nuts are at all times. And if he doesn't, I do, and I don't need a little blue or green light to find them!
Well, this particular time, Storm and I were having some very nice lovemaking, our ugly parts were being nicely co-mingled, when he just suddenly went still. Every woman knows what that means. DO NOT MOVE YOURSELF, FLEX YOUR VAGINA, OR EVEN BAT AN EYELASH IN THE DARK BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SEE IT, HE WILL FEEL IT AND THEN HIS PART IN THE GAME WILL BE OVER! Okay, so I am still as a garden gnome (but slightly less creepy.) He is turning his head sideways in concentration, maybe thinking of the names of the Seven Dwarfs, I have no idea. I'm barely breathing.
At times like these, I'd just prefer he finish and make it feel good for himself and then take care of me afterwards. At our age, if either one of our orgasms gets interrupted, it's pretty much game over. There is sometimes no coming back from it. Unintentional pun as I hate that word and any derivative of it. Although I guess I prefer it over the term "nutting." Disgusting. I don't know about you, but I am not married to a giant squirrel.
So, it was game over shortly after that because of the interruption but not for the reason you think. His southern region decided he was too tired to continue for now, but I know Storm's brain is in control of that part of his body, so he is still interested in what's going on from my end of things. So I ask for the vibrator and he hands it to me. The little light comes on and highlights my southern region ..... exactly what and where I want him to be looking to see if I can get him all worked up again. So we're at the hmmmmmmmmm level and it is nice, but I was interrupted earlier too, so I am having to work harder at it. I decide to try to turn the thing up myself. I have no idea what I pressed, but the little light went from blue to green and the tempo went from a smooth hmmmmmmmm to a jolting OOMPH-OOMPH-ZIIIIIP, OOMPH-OOMPH-ZIIIIP !!! I felt like someone threw my clitoris into the high speed spin cycle in an off balanced heavy load of sopping wet blankets in the wash machine. However, my big hairy squirrel of a husband liked what he saw and then it was game on again for him! Just like a squirrel hiding his nuts in the fall only to pleasantly discover them again come winter. Although I did read once that squirrels do not actually remember where they hide all their nuts....... they only recover about 26% of them .......... I'm pretty sure that Storm knows where a 100% of his nuts are at all times. And if he doesn't, I do, and I don't need a little blue or green light to find them!
 |
| A quote from Storm, "I'll swing by later!" |
Thursday, May 16, 2019
Spanking Concerns - Part 2
When Storm arrived home in the early evening on Sunday, we immediately went into the bedroom to have privacy. There are two phrases that Storm had been using and I thought he was joking for the first one and I didn't understand the second. For many months now, when we would have discussions about him missing my poor behavior, not calling me out on it, and not spanking for it, he would say that he is not used to picking out my flaws and that he would "try to be more of an a-hole," and then sort of laugh. Next, he kept using the phrase, "Crossing the Line." He didn't want to come near it, let alone cross it. I kept asking, "What freaking line? I don't know what you're talking about."
He finally explained to me that he was happy with the way we had been doing our TTWD, but he was afraid of the next step.... of crossing the line during a heated argument. (He rarely gets angry about anything, so I was befuddled.) He said if he told me to stop talking/arguing/sharing my feelings and then just started spanking me while I was arguing with him that it would essentially feel to him as if he had physically put his hand over my mouth, and he considered that abusive.
My relief at having just found out that he was just fine with all we had been doing with TTWD so far vanished with that statement. I was angry and appalled, "You think I am asking you to abuse me this whole time?" Of course his answer was, "No," but it took him another hour or so to finally explain that he did not know how to go straight from the heated argument phase to all of a sudden spanking me to solve things. He could not connect those two dots in an acceptable-to-him, real life manner. He had the intention to follow through all along...... he just didn't know how to get there.
Okay, now I am getting it. Finally. GEEZE. It would have helped to hear this 3 hours ago or a year ago. I spent some time explaining how I think at least one TTWD couple handles that sort of thing from what I know from her blog -- that the husband does not spank in anger, and that he uses it as a teaching moment. He doesn't turn into a raving, manhandling, a-hole. Storm begins to feel this is something he could do if he didn't have to turn into something he was not. Whew! Of course, we both said much more than I can write about here..... it's just too long. We went to bed that night exhausted from the emotions of the day but at peace with one another and with an agreement that we would figure out this next step together without him having to cross any line, and I would be able to help because I now know what he means by that. We may not be on exactly the same page yet, but now we're very much in the same chapter!
Monday:
What happened next was a little like that television show Who Wants to be a Millionaire: I used the lifeline called Phone a Friend. I needed some help and fast! I was a little nervous about the phone call because, well that's just me, but obviously, some of our TTWD stuff might be too private to share with one another and we tend to avoid specifics as to not reveal too much and to keep things sacred (and kinky) between us and our husbands. So I didn't really know how to ask of my(our) friend what I needed to know without violating her sense of privacy. She took it like a champ! Thankfully, as she listened patiently to my story of Sunday's mess, she could tell that things had not been good by the stress and shakiness in my voice. First, she reassured me. Then she knew what to tell me to do so that I could help Storm see that this really all could work out in a comfortable way for him/me. Here is how I interpreted her invaluable advice:
I wrote an email using our secret email accounts previously set up for kinky-nefarious reasons. In it, I listed some body language clues that would help Storm identify when I was getting quite upset. Next, I wrote down some options of gentle, but firm things he could say such as, "Honey, what you have to say is important to me and I want to hear you, but you're getting too loud, a bit disrespectful,...... take some deep breaths." And I told him that I would do what he says -- I would listen. Next, I wrote some options he could say and do if I continued to escalate, such as "I need you to meet me in the bedroom now,"....... and I said that I would follow him if he told me to do that. Finally, I wrote some suggestions as to how to lead to the spanking in the bedroom -- that he could use that same calm tone of voice and reasoning with me and simply tell me he wants me to bend over the bed. And then he can start to spank gently as he talks to me, calms me down, and leads me into submission, which is EXACTLY where I truly want to be.
Tuesday - Storm's reaction
The next morning, when I saw Storm after his first having read that email, he was so relieved. Now, he could see how this can happen in a healthy way for both of us. That he didn't have to put his hands on me and force me over the bed. My agreement that I would go willingly ahead of time put him at ease. He said prior to this, he didn't know what my reaction would have been if he grabbed me by the arm and marched me into the bedroom -- in anger and with all these hormones gone amok, would I tell him not to touch me? Then what happens to his authority there? His words would be ineffective and so what was his next option, to force me over the bed for a spanking? He wouldn't do that.
Those kind of things that he was worried about never even occurred to me. I never wanted or expected him to force me to do anything at all. I had given my permission to him back when we started this TTWD to take action that I would submit to, but I had no idea he was struggling with it being so open ended and up to him. His getting me those 20 feet from the living room to the bedroom was just beyond what he could make peace with in his mind........ until he read my email. And I didn't truly have a whiff of the possible answers until my(our) TTWD friend talked with me, guided me in generalities, but in such good terms that I knew exactly what she was saying. Storm and I may not be millionaires, but with our TTWD friend, we sure did strike gold.
He finally explained to me that he was happy with the way we had been doing our TTWD, but he was afraid of the next step.... of crossing the line during a heated argument. (He rarely gets angry about anything, so I was befuddled.) He said if he told me to stop talking/arguing/sharing my feelings and then just started spanking me while I was arguing with him that it would essentially feel to him as if he had physically put his hand over my mouth, and he considered that abusive.
My relief at having just found out that he was just fine with all we had been doing with TTWD so far vanished with that statement. I was angry and appalled, "You think I am asking you to abuse me this whole time?" Of course his answer was, "No," but it took him another hour or so to finally explain that he did not know how to go straight from the heated argument phase to all of a sudden spanking me to solve things. He could not connect those two dots in an acceptable-to-him, real life manner. He had the intention to follow through all along...... he just didn't know how to get there.
Okay, now I am getting it. Finally. GEEZE. It would have helped to hear this 3 hours ago or a year ago. I spent some time explaining how I think at least one TTWD couple handles that sort of thing from what I know from her blog -- that the husband does not spank in anger, and that he uses it as a teaching moment. He doesn't turn into a raving, manhandling, a-hole. Storm begins to feel this is something he could do if he didn't have to turn into something he was not. Whew! Of course, we both said much more than I can write about here..... it's just too long. We went to bed that night exhausted from the emotions of the day but at peace with one another and with an agreement that we would figure out this next step together without him having to cross any line, and I would be able to help because I now know what he means by that. We may not be on exactly the same page yet, but now we're very much in the same chapter!
Monday:
What happened next was a little like that television show Who Wants to be a Millionaire: I used the lifeline called Phone a Friend. I needed some help and fast! I was a little nervous about the phone call because, well that's just me, but obviously, some of our TTWD stuff might be too private to share with one another and we tend to avoid specifics as to not reveal too much and to keep things sacred (and kinky) between us and our husbands. So I didn't really know how to ask of my(our) friend what I needed to know without violating her sense of privacy. She took it like a champ! Thankfully, as she listened patiently to my story of Sunday's mess, she could tell that things had not been good by the stress and shakiness in my voice. First, she reassured me. Then she knew what to tell me to do so that I could help Storm see that this really all could work out in a comfortable way for him/me. Here is how I interpreted her invaluable advice:
I wrote an email using our secret email accounts previously set up for kinky-nefarious reasons. In it, I listed some body language clues that would help Storm identify when I was getting quite upset. Next, I wrote down some options of gentle, but firm things he could say such as, "Honey, what you have to say is important to me and I want to hear you, but you're getting too loud, a bit disrespectful,...... take some deep breaths." And I told him that I would do what he says -- I would listen. Next, I wrote some options he could say and do if I continued to escalate, such as "I need you to meet me in the bedroom now,"....... and I said that I would follow him if he told me to do that. Finally, I wrote some suggestions as to how to lead to the spanking in the bedroom -- that he could use that same calm tone of voice and reasoning with me and simply tell me he wants me to bend over the bed. And then he can start to spank gently as he talks to me, calms me down, and leads me into submission, which is EXACTLY where I truly want to be.
Tuesday - Storm's reaction
The next morning, when I saw Storm after his first having read that email, he was so relieved. Now, he could see how this can happen in a healthy way for both of us. That he didn't have to put his hands on me and force me over the bed. My agreement that I would go willingly ahead of time put him at ease. He said prior to this, he didn't know what my reaction would have been if he grabbed me by the arm and marched me into the bedroom -- in anger and with all these hormones gone amok, would I tell him not to touch me? Then what happens to his authority there? His words would be ineffective and so what was his next option, to force me over the bed for a spanking? He wouldn't do that.
Those kind of things that he was worried about never even occurred to me. I never wanted or expected him to force me to do anything at all. I had given my permission to him back when we started this TTWD to take action that I would submit to, but I had no idea he was struggling with it being so open ended and up to him. His getting me those 20 feet from the living room to the bedroom was just beyond what he could make peace with in his mind........ until he read my email. And I didn't truly have a whiff of the possible answers until my(our) TTWD friend talked with me, guided me in generalities, but in such good terms that I knew exactly what she was saying. Storm and I may not be millionaires, but with our TTWD friend, we sure did strike gold.
Wednesday, May 15, 2019
Spanking Concerns Part 1
Storm and I had the biggest fight last Sunday. It lasted all day and we talked through it for hours afterwards in 2 separate shifts due to other obligations outside our home that prevented us from finishing it in one big discussion in the first place.
Although I feel that TTWD is a process and not really a "once we're there, wherever there is, we'll stay in this spot forever and things won't need to be adjusted," I was flat out shocked at a few of the things Storm shared with me.
Let me set the stage here a little bit. I, like many of you, am a feisty gal. Also, for the past year or so, my hormones are also raging, but not in a sexy way! Because Storm agreed to do TTWD with me a long time ago, when I don't feel he is getting where I am currently at ...... or that he seems to agree to what we've talked about, but then doesn't follow through on it, I get quite angry. There are several reasons for that, but the biggest one is that it makes me feel like a big stupid idiot for having this need, sharing it with him, and then be left hanging.
The second thing is I try so hard to make sure that Storm and I are "on the same page" with big things here at home involving family and then also with our TTWD. I do this to avoid future conflict and confusion. Well, this past weekend, I discovered that Storm pretty much had no intention of following some spanking things through the way we had discussed because he couldn't translate what I was saying into a real world scenario. So here I was experiencing extreme frustration at expecting something that was never coming in the first place. So much for my same page philosophy. I have been pushing him..... not quite bratting, but pushing beyond what I would normally do to MAKE him react ........ he didn't.
I said this conversation happened in 2 shifts......... here is how the first one ended ..... with Storm going out the front door, he hugs me before he leaves and says, "I don't want to hurt you."
WOW. What?????!!!!!!!!! I burst into tears because I had absolutely no idea that this was a fear of his, where he was coming from at all, and what this meant for our TTWD future. It wasn't looking good, folks................
Several minutes and buckets of tears later, I called him on the phone because I knew he was still on his way to his destination and that he was alone in the car. I told him I was devastated. I asked why he ever agreed to TTWD if he had this fear. I asked if he was spanking me all this time against his will.... just for me? I despise having the rug pulled out from underneath me and I feel that I do a lot in my close relationships to prevent such a thing. When it happens with my husband, I lose all sense of, well, almost everything. Then I want to take that rug and wring his neck with it! And then I want to cry some more.
It was a long 2 hours of silence between us after that until he returned home for part two of this...........
Although I feel that TTWD is a process and not really a "once we're there, wherever there is, we'll stay in this spot forever and things won't need to be adjusted," I was flat out shocked at a few of the things Storm shared with me.
Let me set the stage here a little bit. I, like many of you, am a feisty gal. Also, for the past year or so, my hormones are also raging, but not in a sexy way! Because Storm agreed to do TTWD with me a long time ago, when I don't feel he is getting where I am currently at ...... or that he seems to agree to what we've talked about, but then doesn't follow through on it, I get quite angry. There are several reasons for that, but the biggest one is that it makes me feel like a big stupid idiot for having this need, sharing it with him, and then be left hanging.
The second thing is I try so hard to make sure that Storm and I are "on the same page" with big things here at home involving family and then also with our TTWD. I do this to avoid future conflict and confusion. Well, this past weekend, I discovered that Storm pretty much had no intention of following some spanking things through the way we had discussed because he couldn't translate what I was saying into a real world scenario. So here I was experiencing extreme frustration at expecting something that was never coming in the first place. So much for my same page philosophy. I have been pushing him..... not quite bratting, but pushing beyond what I would normally do to MAKE him react ........ he didn't.
I said this conversation happened in 2 shifts......... here is how the first one ended ..... with Storm going out the front door, he hugs me before he leaves and says, "I don't want to hurt you."
WOW. What?????!!!!!!!!! I burst into tears because I had absolutely no idea that this was a fear of his, where he was coming from at all, and what this meant for our TTWD future. It wasn't looking good, folks................
Several minutes and buckets of tears later, I called him on the phone because I knew he was still on his way to his destination and that he was alone in the car. I told him I was devastated. I asked why he ever agreed to TTWD if he had this fear. I asked if he was spanking me all this time against his will.... just for me? I despise having the rug pulled out from underneath me and I feel that I do a lot in my close relationships to prevent such a thing. When it happens with my husband, I lose all sense of, well, almost everything. Then I want to take that rug and wring his neck with it! And then I want to cry some more.
It was a long 2 hours of silence between us after that until he returned home for part two of this...........
Saturday, May 11, 2019
The Atmosphere of Spanking
Upon educating myself on the term fetish, the definition of it does not fit how I think spanking plays a role in my life. In one common definition and the one that stands out in my memory, it is that the person cannot achieve sexual gratification without using an object or body part or activity or without thinking about it. I do not always have to be spanked or think about being spanked in order to attain sexual arousal and/or gratification, but I certainly can and I love it. I also can't see myself just drooling over our paddle...... Just last week, Storm and I had a very vanilla encounter when everyone in the house was snuggled in their beds, lights out. I was freshly showered and smelling like his woman, I guess, so I received what we affectionately and humorously refer to when we engage in late night lovemaking as a Visit from the Cat Burglar. Although this time, Storm informed me the following morning when we hugged one another that he was more like the Tiger Burglar now, and he growled in my ear as he squeezed the back of my neck. Melt.
Only after having known Meredith for just a couple of months, I once emailed her about my visit from the Cat Burglar and what that meant. To my surprise, I got a response from her at the airport that simply said, "I could hear you purring." I didn't know whether to die laughing or die from embarrassment....... I did the first and instead of the second, I just said to myself, "Well, dang, she's right," and my sense of wanting to get to know her better was reinforced.
I distracted myself.... my point is that it was all vanilla sex.....unless you count the cat/tiger burglar as some sort of "furry fetish," but, you can't because neither of us were wearing a furry costume, thinking about doing so, nor do we want to do so.
I know some people have spanking fantasies their entire lives and then find the courage to tell their partner years later, but that just isn't how it happened for us. Upon reflection, I remember certain triggers as a kid, but I never fantasized about it. Although I recall having some kind of odd feeling, I didn't know it was sexual. I never felt like I had a secret nor did I hide this feeling from my husband because I didn't know that it was even a thing. It just occurred to me after we were newly married for a couple of years of living in our Little Love Shack, that hey, I wonder if a little light spanking might be a turn on....... and so we tried it. But we only used spanking as erotic foreplay, never anything else. We didn't know there was anything else. When I discovered DD online many years later, I brought it to Storm within a day and we had to learn how to incorporate it into our lives using terms and methods like maintenance and role affirmation spankings. I felt like, Wow, spanking is my kink, but here is something we can do with it that will build our intimacy, this new thing called submission for me, and Storm's dominance without other more involved D/S type activities that don't really appeal to me/us. How do you know this for sure, Windy? I have one phrase for you: Dr. Charley Ferrer's, BDSM The Naked Truth. That's how.
Etched in my brain forever are those very first few months of trying this new dd way of spanking with just Storm's hand, me over his lap with him sitting in a chair IN THE CLOSET to muffle the noise from several family members living here at the time. Now, we had a secret! Yes, he was spanking me, but not like usual and now with new powerful feelings of submission enveloping me. We had no rules at first. We just went with trying to establish what we thought was masculine for him and feminine for me. And, yes, it often turned sexual afterwards...... for Storm first....... I remember giving him many blow jobs after said events, but you know what? Even that was suggested on the DD website that the wife pleasure her husband afterwards as a thank-you and as a sign of submission. The intimacy of the whole thing, coupled with his sexual excitement and my newfound gratitude and humbleness that we were really doing this made me want to be satisfied in a sexual way, too.
Whether this is common or not in ttwd homes, I have no idea, but even when Storm sets out to make a spanking erotic for me, it takes me a while to get comfortable with it. What I mean is that as soon as Storm spanks me once or even a dozen times, it doesn't turn me on. I need time and more spanks and I need his words. And then I need his hands on my body to make it erotic. If Storm just smacked my rear a bunch of times in the bedroom, didn't say anything, and then wanted to have sex, my body and my brain would NOT be turned on in the least.
If it is a discipline spanking, then I need to hear his words of correction, to hear the conviction in his voice, and to feel his love in order to create that certain breathtaking atmosphere between us that can then lead to sexual arousal even as it flipping hurts and humbles me. It makes me feel submissive and it makes him actively dominant. That combination is what turns me on. I am bending over his knee, his lap, his bed, whatever and that is presenting my rear end and all parts of me for him to see and touch. Just like it is when I bend over and he has sex with me from behind, it is an almost primal feeling for me. I am offering myself up to him and he is taking it .... in both spanking and sex. His dominance and my submission are key elements to each and every spanking occurrence, no matter if it ends in sex or not.
All the above makes me hurt my own head. I don't like analyzing this kind of thing very deeply for some reason. But, I am seeing other bloggers offer self-analysis about spanking and what it means to them, while I have been shying away from it, I felt frustrated by not sharing how at least a little bit of how my psyche works. I care enough to take the time to point out that while I fit in very well here in ttwd land, every journey from start to finish is different no matter how similar it may seem on the surface and in lighter, broader conversation. I'm the only person in my head and Storm is the next closest to knowing what is going on in there. Letters, labels, definitions may or may not apply and perhaps they even come and go, but it is the atmosphere of spanking, not just the spanking on its own, created by Storm and me that makes it emotionally, physically, and sexually satisfying. How I feel about spanking it that it is a kink for me/us and that joined with some basics of DD and a bit of D/S is what makes it TTWD for us.
What is the atmosphere of spanking like in your home?
Only after having known Meredith for just a couple of months, I once emailed her about my visit from the Cat Burglar and what that meant. To my surprise, I got a response from her at the airport that simply said, "I could hear you purring." I didn't know whether to die laughing or die from embarrassment....... I did the first and instead of the second, I just said to myself, "Well, dang, she's right," and my sense of wanting to get to know her better was reinforced.
I distracted myself.... my point is that it was all vanilla sex.....unless you count the cat/tiger burglar as some sort of "furry fetish," but, you can't because neither of us were wearing a furry costume, thinking about doing so, nor do we want to do so.
I know some people have spanking fantasies their entire lives and then find the courage to tell their partner years later, but that just isn't how it happened for us. Upon reflection, I remember certain triggers as a kid, but I never fantasized about it. Although I recall having some kind of odd feeling, I didn't know it was sexual. I never felt like I had a secret nor did I hide this feeling from my husband because I didn't know that it was even a thing. It just occurred to me after we were newly married for a couple of years of living in our Little Love Shack, that hey, I wonder if a little light spanking might be a turn on....... and so we tried it. But we only used spanking as erotic foreplay, never anything else. We didn't know there was anything else. When I discovered DD online many years later, I brought it to Storm within a day and we had to learn how to incorporate it into our lives using terms and methods like maintenance and role affirmation spankings. I felt like, Wow, spanking is my kink, but here is something we can do with it that will build our intimacy, this new thing called submission for me, and Storm's dominance without other more involved D/S type activities that don't really appeal to me/us. How do you know this for sure, Windy? I have one phrase for you: Dr. Charley Ferrer's, BDSM The Naked Truth. That's how.
Etched in my brain forever are those very first few months of trying this new dd way of spanking with just Storm's hand, me over his lap with him sitting in a chair IN THE CLOSET to muffle the noise from several family members living here at the time. Now, we had a secret! Yes, he was spanking me, but not like usual and now with new powerful feelings of submission enveloping me. We had no rules at first. We just went with trying to establish what we thought was masculine for him and feminine for me. And, yes, it often turned sexual afterwards...... for Storm first....... I remember giving him many blow jobs after said events, but you know what? Even that was suggested on the DD website that the wife pleasure her husband afterwards as a thank-you and as a sign of submission. The intimacy of the whole thing, coupled with his sexual excitement and my newfound gratitude and humbleness that we were really doing this made me want to be satisfied in a sexual way, too.
Whether this is common or not in ttwd homes, I have no idea, but even when Storm sets out to make a spanking erotic for me, it takes me a while to get comfortable with it. What I mean is that as soon as Storm spanks me once or even a dozen times, it doesn't turn me on. I need time and more spanks and I need his words. And then I need his hands on my body to make it erotic. If Storm just smacked my rear a bunch of times in the bedroom, didn't say anything, and then wanted to have sex, my body and my brain would NOT be turned on in the least.
If it is a discipline spanking, then I need to hear his words of correction, to hear the conviction in his voice, and to feel his love in order to create that certain breathtaking atmosphere between us that can then lead to sexual arousal even as it flipping hurts and humbles me. It makes me feel submissive and it makes him actively dominant. That combination is what turns me on. I am bending over his knee, his lap, his bed, whatever and that is presenting my rear end and all parts of me for him to see and touch. Just like it is when I bend over and he has sex with me from behind, it is an almost primal feeling for me. I am offering myself up to him and he is taking it .... in both spanking and sex. His dominance and my submission are key elements to each and every spanking occurrence, no matter if it ends in sex or not.
All the above makes me hurt my own head. I don't like analyzing this kind of thing very deeply for some reason. But, I am seeing other bloggers offer self-analysis about spanking and what it means to them, while I have been shying away from it, I felt frustrated by not sharing how at least a little bit of how my psyche works. I care enough to take the time to point out that while I fit in very well here in ttwd land, every journey from start to finish is different no matter how similar it may seem on the surface and in lighter, broader conversation. I'm the only person in my head and Storm is the next closest to knowing what is going on in there. Letters, labels, definitions may or may not apply and perhaps they even come and go, but it is the atmosphere of spanking, not just the spanking on its own, created by Storm and me that makes it emotionally, physically, and sexually satisfying. How I feel about spanking it that it is a kink for me/us and that joined with some basics of DD and a bit of D/S is what makes it TTWD for us.
What is the atmosphere of spanking like in your home?
Monday, May 6, 2019
One Blogging Year Later ........
It has been a year of blogging for me, folks! I have looked at different ways to write this milestone of a post. (Is Kermit distracting you over there on the left? FOCUS !) A few weeks ago, I was working on my 100th post and I just couldn't get it to come together for me. Since then, I have taken down a handful or two of past posts which has put me back under the 100 mark again. I decided there were just a very few special pieces that while I shared with you all, that in the end, I really just want them for myself. But, before I removed those pieces of writing, I copied the comment sections because I do truly love all that you gals and guys say to me about my writing and about my ideas and my presence here in blog land. In part, you all are the reason behind my new writing adventures here in my home, on my computer, but away from the blog. It is very hard not to post some of the things that I am writing as I wish I could share here because this is my internet home and you are my writing/reading family. Who knows...... perhaps some day you will run across something I wrote for the general public and recognize my writing style and know it is me although I have a completely different name. Mum's the word though, please. :)
While I had one treasured friend in the making in Meredith as she launched my blog and I put up my first piece a year ago, today, I went back and read my very first post to see who else was here on day one with me and it includes most of you! There are a few newer to me people who were not around for my first post, but I know their blogs well now and/or they know mine. Ella was the first to greet me and I do have to laugh at myself because I was very nervous the first several months every time I read what Ella had to say. I don't know why except that her reputation was that you all recognize her for her saying things eloquently in blog comments. She's also pretty perceptive at reading between the lines here and I find that interesting.
We all know that Meredith is responsible forcoaxing, luring, bringing many of us here to blog land and we appreciate her impressive recruiting methods. How long we stay, if we stay, what, and how often we contribute to the community is then up to us! If it were within her realm of responsibilities, she'd have us all on a schedule for the next 2 calendar years and blog land would run smoothly and without a hitch until she retired. Laughing. She wouldn't be on anybody's case for missing their turn to post though because she is out living her life with Jack. She is no dummy and she would delegate that job description to one of us here, most likely me because she knows I will most likely not tell her no thank you. So if I were her deputy, I would do the best I could to bring PK along on this as I believe she is the only one here in blog land to truly have the balls/ovaries to email everyone else's HOH and tell them that we gals deserved a spanking for missing our posting dates. Plus, she would clap her hands with glee in her little writing room over the chance to write all that into another Corbin's Bend book! "Your wife has misbehaved and missed her posting obligation. Please grab the nearest hairbrush, bath brush, and/or any other deterrents, go forth with said spanking, and report any and all interesting things back to me a.s.a.p." And then she'd spin her own tale with a southern twang, of course! And if that spanked blogger happened to be Rosie, then her Harry would have reason to repeat his well known blog land quote, "Put THAT on your blog!"
Nora Jean would in my opinion make a great official blog land Recorder. I think PK has been around the longest, but I believe NJ to have done the most back-blog reading in the history of ttwd-dom. She's done a lot of behind the blog trying-to-figure- all-things-out with me during our first year together here as newbies. I believe we are partly responsible for keeping one another afloat a time or two ..... or nine.
I digress.
When researching how couples celebrate one year anniversaries, I was reminded that the official marker of such an event is paper, which makes sense because it's really all most newlyweds can afford anyway, especially after throwing themselves a big wedding. (So to the newest Mother-in-Law in the land, Katie, next year you can take it easy and buy the lovely couple some paper for their first anniversary!) Even I could not imagine writing an entire post solely about the subject of paper. So what I have chosen instead for this next part of my long ass Classic Windy post is to share my current thoughts about my very first post and how every single one of you became involved in 2 noticeable changes that I know to be true here in our ttwd home.
That first post about the Ping Pong Paddle that has come and gone and has been replaced by some wicked implement that Amy allowed Bonnie to indirectly recommend to poor, overeager, Newbie blog saps like myself. It is a thick hairbrush type paddle that I called THUD. Um, yeah, that's long hidden away in the Storm's underwear drawer. Then came that wicked leather strap slapper that never got a name. Storm used this for several months, and again, Amy is to blame, directly this time, although she did give me fair warning on careful usage after Storm bought it. Then Storm and I went full circle because just a few weeks ago, we have happily landed back with the Ping Pong Paddle despite the fact that Nora Jean refers to this as "The Triple P" and the Weapon of A$$ Destruction. I think almost any implement could leave some kind of "impression" depending on the level of intensity in which it is applied. I believe that while we can discuss implements here in blog land and their level of severity or fun, it still comes down to what each individual HOH and his wife make it to be. For me, the very same implement has been used to catch my attention and set me back on the straight and narrow (I will soon make it curve again, no worries!), but it can also be used in a different, lighter, but sexy kind of way that can bring me to....... well, you know. Storm manages spanking along the spectrum brilliantly with our current and longest standing implement of choice, the Ping Pong Paddle.
The other thing that has changed in our ttwd life since that first post is that I am no longer silent during spankings. Here is my theory on why:
You gals whine (NJ), yelp (Ella), wiggle (almost all of you), hiss between your teeth (Willie, everybody? when you're not flossing them, that is, Katie) . Then there are you criers (Shell, and I think maybe PrincessImp, JLynne, and EsMay..... feel free to add/subtract yourself ) and those that try to talk your way out of it (Meredith) or continue to argue over the most intellectual yet cheeky subjects during the spanking (Ronnie) .....and do the fire dance (Meredith and add yourself!)...... or just fall apart in some kind of blissful puddle (Rosie, Laurel, Shell, Abby, Amy, add yourself if you fit!)....... Some of you have made your own implements (EsMay, and NJ) and then there's one who makes me think about songs when I'm being spanked and thinking of being spanked while listening to songs (Terps) ... and those of you who sometimes talk/write about things that make my eyes bulge and my brain hurt (EsMay, NJ, MorningStar, Willie, Blondie, Fondles, PK, Amy, add/subtract yourself!)...........
And so now, I would like to just officially blame ALL OF YOU that spanking has turned into a freaking conversation here in Storm's bed! Laughing! Almost 10 years of various spankings have taken place here and I have hardly said a word, but within one year of being influenced by you gals, look at me talking back to my man sincerely when he is asking me questions (sigh), and yelping, and OUCH!!, and smarting off when my big bare bottom is right in his face and he has a paddle in his hand! (okay that one is mostly my fault and sometimes Roz's because I know she'll laugh if I blog what I said!)
And to the few folks who read and comment here who don't currently have blogs ........ Laurel and Roz and Boo are the faithful gals that show up to encourage, laugh, and share your experiences, spanking and otherwise in the comment section and I want to say thank you and let you know that I truly appreciate the fact that you make me feel at home here on my own blog.
Also, thank you to my mostly silent and possibly all the time silent readers. If you're a ttwd wife and you'd like to drop me a line in email, please feel free to do so. I promise I won't tell. Many beautiful friendships have been born and nurtured that way among the gals here behind our blogs.
Finally, thank you to Meredith for reeling me in 365 days ago 🎣, for being my blogging mentor, a cheerleader for me personally and for my writing, and through it all, for becoming my dear friend. My sincerest gratitude to all of you bloggers and readers for being ready for her newest recruit when it was my turn and for embracing me here in ttwd land when she cast me out into your little corner of the net.
Oh, and the biggest thank you of all to my husband Storm. It's only been a year since I have been writing about all things Storm and Windy, but it's been almost 30 since our paper anniversary. I love you so much. Thank you for letting me share your business with the entire internet, Honey. And thanks for still wanting to be all up in mine after all these years.
Thank you all for a meaningful and fun year................ Under your influence, who knows what I will be doing a year from now -- regularly painting my nails? (Not if it's fishing season!) Wearing a dress every day at home? (does a nightshirt count?), keeping a spotless home? (Not unless we hire it done!) Still here in blog land goofing around with you gals -- I sure hope so!
Love,
Windy 🐟🐟🐟
P.S. If you would like to have your name included among the yelpers, criers, whiners, etc....... just tell me in the comment section below and I will gladly add you. I only wanted to put people into fun categories as I know them to be from comments and posts on all of our blogs and reveal nothing that I may have learned from behind the blog. My point is also that I may not know you very well and that I want to include you if you want to be included, but I was just unaware of your spanking/communication style!
While I had one treasured friend in the making in Meredith as she launched my blog and I put up my first piece a year ago, today, I went back and read my very first post to see who else was here on day one with me and it includes most of you! There are a few newer to me people who were not around for my first post, but I know their blogs well now and/or they know mine. Ella was the first to greet me and I do have to laugh at myself because I was very nervous the first several months every time I read what Ella had to say. I don't know why except that her reputation was that you all recognize her for her saying things eloquently in blog comments. She's also pretty perceptive at reading between the lines here and I find that interesting.
We all know that Meredith is responsible for
Nora Jean would in my opinion make a great official blog land Recorder. I think PK has been around the longest, but I believe NJ to have done the most back-blog reading in the history of ttwd-dom. She's done a lot of behind the blog trying-to-figure- all-things-out with me during our first year together here as newbies. I believe we are partly responsible for keeping one another afloat a time or two ..... or nine.
I digress.
When researching how couples celebrate one year anniversaries, I was reminded that the official marker of such an event is paper, which makes sense because it's really all most newlyweds can afford anyway, especially after throwing themselves a big wedding. (So to the newest Mother-in-Law in the land, Katie, next year you can take it easy and buy the lovely couple some paper for their first anniversary!) Even I could not imagine writing an entire post solely about the subject of paper. So what I have chosen instead for this next part of my long ass Classic Windy post is to share my current thoughts about my very first post and how every single one of you became involved in 2 noticeable changes that I know to be true here in our ttwd home.
That first post about the Ping Pong Paddle that has come and gone and has been replaced by some wicked implement that Amy allowed Bonnie to indirectly recommend to poor, overeager, Newbie blog saps like myself. It is a thick hairbrush type paddle that I called THUD. Um, yeah, that's long hidden away in the Storm's underwear drawer. Then came that wicked leather strap slapper that never got a name. Storm used this for several months, and again, Amy is to blame, directly this time, although she did give me fair warning on careful usage after Storm bought it. Then Storm and I went full circle because just a few weeks ago, we have happily landed back with the Ping Pong Paddle despite the fact that Nora Jean refers to this as "The Triple P" and the Weapon of A$$ Destruction. I think almost any implement could leave some kind of "impression" depending on the level of intensity in which it is applied. I believe that while we can discuss implements here in blog land and their level of severity or fun, it still comes down to what each individual HOH and his wife make it to be. For me, the very same implement has been used to catch my attention and set me back on the straight and narrow (I will soon make it curve again, no worries!), but it can also be used in a different, lighter, but sexy kind of way that can bring me to....... well, you know. Storm manages spanking along the spectrum brilliantly with our current and longest standing implement of choice, the Ping Pong Paddle.
The other thing that has changed in our ttwd life since that first post is that I am no longer silent during spankings. Here is my theory on why:
You gals whine (NJ), yelp (Ella), wiggle (almost all of you), hiss between your teeth (Willie, everybody? when you're not flossing them, that is, Katie) . Then there are you criers (Shell, and I think maybe PrincessImp, JLynne, and EsMay..... feel free to add/subtract yourself ) and those that try to talk your way out of it (Meredith) or continue to argue over the most intellectual yet cheeky subjects during the spanking (Ronnie) .....and do the fire dance (Meredith and add yourself!)...... or just fall apart in some kind of blissful puddle (Rosie, Laurel, Shell, Abby, Amy, add yourself if you fit!)....... Some of you have made your own implements (EsMay, and NJ) and then there's one who makes me think about songs when I'm being spanked and thinking of being spanked while listening to songs (Terps) ... and those of you who sometimes talk/write about things that make my eyes bulge and my brain hurt (EsMay, NJ, MorningStar, Willie, Blondie, Fondles, PK, Amy, add/subtract yourself!)...........
And so now, I would like to just officially blame ALL OF YOU that spanking has turned into a freaking conversation here in Storm's bed! Laughing! Almost 10 years of various spankings have taken place here and I have hardly said a word, but within one year of being influenced by you gals, look at me talking back to my man sincerely when he is asking me questions (sigh), and yelping, and OUCH!!, and smarting off when my big bare bottom is right in his face and he has a paddle in his hand! (okay that one is mostly my fault and sometimes Roz's because I know she'll laugh if I blog what I said!)
And to the few folks who read and comment here who don't currently have blogs ........ Laurel and Roz and Boo are the faithful gals that show up to encourage, laugh, and share your experiences, spanking and otherwise in the comment section and I want to say thank you and let you know that I truly appreciate the fact that you make me feel at home here on my own blog.
Also, thank you to my mostly silent and possibly all the time silent readers. If you're a ttwd wife and you'd like to drop me a line in email, please feel free to do so. I promise I won't tell. Many beautiful friendships have been born and nurtured that way among the gals here behind our blogs.
Finally, thank you to Meredith for reeling me in 365 days ago 🎣, for being my blogging mentor, a cheerleader for me personally and for my writing, and through it all, for becoming my dear friend. My sincerest gratitude to all of you bloggers and readers for being ready for her newest recruit when it was my turn and for embracing me here in ttwd land when she cast me out into your little corner of the net.
Oh, and the biggest thank you of all to my husband Storm. It's only been a year since I have been writing about all things Storm and Windy, but it's been almost 30 since our paper anniversary. I love you so much. Thank you for letting me share your business with the entire internet, Honey. And thanks for still wanting to be all up in mine after all these years.
Thank you all for a meaningful and fun year................ Under your influence, who knows what I will be doing a year from now -- regularly painting my nails? (Not if it's fishing season!) Wearing a dress every day at home? (does a nightshirt count?), keeping a spotless home? (Not unless we hire it done!) Still here in blog land goofing around with you gals -- I sure hope so!
Love,
Windy 🐟🐟🐟
P.S. If you would like to have your name included among the yelpers, criers, whiners, etc....... just tell me in the comment section below and I will gladly add you. I only wanted to put people into fun categories as I know them to be from comments and posts on all of our blogs and reveal nothing that I may have learned from behind the blog. My point is also that I may not know you very well and that I want to include you if you want to be included, but I was just unaware of your spanking/communication style!
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
Don't Tell Daddy!
We openly talk politics here in our home with those of us who live here in our immediate family. While it does help that we're all mostly on the same page, it wasn't always that way. That shouldn't matter because we all have the right to our own views and opinions. However, with half of our country hating each other right now, we all need as much love as possible within our own four walls of our homes.
I do remember growing up that politics was talked about, but not too much and it was much more a private thing. I didn't understand that as a kid and a young adult. I didn't see why one party was mad at the other or how defensive people could be and that is probably because of the fact that most my my little world was made up of people of same deep religious faith and they mostly only vote one way.
But, I think families should talk about government at age appropriate levels of the children. I do think more parents are doing this with their little ones these days. Hopefully they are asking them how they think and feel about certain goings on instead of just telling them what they "should" think.
Although we started off on the same page because that page was the only thing given to us as kids, an almost script of what we had to believe, eventually Storm felt differently than I did about politics for about a decade. We just agreed to disagree about it, but when the changes first started happening, it scared me and we did fight about it because even for Storm, some of what he shared with me was a bit inflammatory. That also wasn't like him, so it was a double whammy (good thing this was before our TTWD days otherwise it would have sometimes been a triple whammy for my rear end -- just for my heated responses, NOT for my differing views.) A few years after the very end of this uncomfortable time period, my daughter and I were discussing the 2016 election issues and she asked me for clarification, "What's a liberal again?" I thought the simplest and most obvious way that she would understand this was, "Your father." Laughing. While she didn't know the label, she absolutely knows how her dad thinks in terms of what he thinks our government's role should be in our lives.
Although we started off on the same page because that page was the only thing given to us as kids, an almost script of what we had to believe, eventually Storm felt differently than I did about politics for about a decade. We just agreed to disagree about it, but when the changes first started happening, it scared me and we did fight about it because even for Storm, some of what he shared with me was a bit inflammatory. That also wasn't like him, so it was a double whammy (good thing this was before our TTWD days otherwise it would have sometimes been a triple whammy for my rear end -- just for my heated responses, NOT for my differing views.) A few years after the very end of this uncomfortable time period, my daughter and I were discussing the 2016 election issues and she asked me for clarification, "What's a liberal again?" I thought the simplest and most obvious way that she would understand this was, "Your father." Laughing. While she didn't know the label, she absolutely knows how her dad thinks in terms of what he thinks our government's role should be in our lives.
The man knows every crack and crevice and is partly responsible for the condition of my saggy breasts and stretch marks............. and I am not going to share with him how I vote? Here are my boobs, he watched his kid slide out of my vagina, and has seen my butthole in that process among others, but don't look at the little ovals I fill out when I'm sitting next to you at the table at the voting polls, k? Pfftttttt. (And no, nothing is going in that back door slot!!)
That's just how Storm and I feel in our home though. We do know some people, including lots of loved ones who are very private about politics, religion, their finances, sex, and we do believe there is a time and a place and also inappropriate times and places, too.
So what else do Storm and I share here in our home? Regarding my adult children, no we do not want them to know about our ttwd relationship. We never want to be discovered about the spanking as that would be very awkward for everyone. However, there are some things that I do want my children to know on a very light level about the newer elements of my relationship with their father.
For a while now, I have been much more aware of how I plow over Storm in conversation. The kid asked him a question the other day and I started answering for him until I caught myself....... he's right there and can certainly speak for himself. GEEZE! So I apologized and said let Dad answer...... and the kid said, "Oh mom, you do that all the time." UGH!
Now, I will say things like, "Well, I better not say that to Dad or he might spank me." It isn't to titillate, it is taken as a joke, but I want the kids to know that I am purposely being more considerate of their father's opinion. I also say more often these days, "Let's ask Dad first or why don't you ask Dad and see how he feels about that before I say how I feel?" And I like doing that.
I also do things a little differently for myself ...... I have let the kids know that Storm does not like it when I put myself down or as a blogging friend referred to it as, "Rag on yourself." Exactly, though....... and since I have been working on it, the kid catches me and tells! And I am like, " Do not tell Dad I said that, I will get in trouble!! "
Storm also wants me to come to bed when he does. He wants me in his bed. So I have announced to the family often that Dad wants me in bed with him as this is something I want the family to see.
I am not trying to teach my kids that Dad knows all the answers and Mom knows nothing because that is absolutely not true. Personally, I think Mom is very smart. :) But, I do want them to see that I am being more respectful of him, that I value his opinion, but I cannot tell them the reason is because of the self awareness I now have as a ttwd wife, which is no problem because I have no desire to share that and I never will outside of my very small ttwd world here.
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