Sunday, September 22, 2019

What's your lullaby?

The time of day or night for sex varies throughout a marriage.  Initially, we go through that honeymoon phase where it happens whenever and who cares as long as it's happening a lot!   As a young married couple, Storm and I often made love on Sunday afternoons right after morning church, but before night church!  What a leisurely time slot for some intimacy and then a nap, although some might argue that during any church service whatsoever is a great time to take a nap especially if there is a guest speaker.  It is not however, the perfect time to have sex.  Unless you know for sure that you have complete privacy in the balcony and if you are in no way afraid that a bolt of lightening will come out of the sky, down through the church roof, and up your---------, which is all that any of us would deserve if we did the nasty in church!   I doubt that our Sunday afternoon delight at home in our little love shack apartment was unique to us and that many a baby of church goers was conceived on Sunday afternoons!

We've never been an early morning sex couple........ he was too busy getting ready for a long commute to the big city every weekday morning, and I was either getting ready for work myself or on childcare duty or sleeping late if the baby did!

Some of us have worked different shifts than our spouses and had to live with times where quickies just barely held us over.  Then one of us goes off to work and the other off to bed!  A little later in life, Storm and I, like many couples with children, often made love just before falling asleep at night and that worked out for us for many years.  However, enter the spanking kink into our lives and we required total privacy or a sound proof room! 

However, changes in people's schedules here in our home has given us more privacy (THANK YOU GOD IN HEAVEN!)  and it has changed my body clock a little bit, so this most recent Saturday, Storm and I went at it in the morning for the first time in forever.

As usual, I was feeling stressed, and Storm decided to work me over a bit since we won't have total privacy again for a few days.  My body was tired, but Storm bent me over the bed anyway and started spanking and talking......... and his timing and rhythm was perfect.  At first, the paddle has quite the sting, but as he continues, I guess my butt warms up a bit and then it's less shocking. This eventually escalated into a very sexy time.

I was quite worn out after that kind of spanking, sex, and Storms' sexy voice, words, and actions.  I felt like a fat baby with droopy eyelids after a warm bottle of milk.  I wasn't drooling or wearing a bib, but other things were definitely wet.  (And I do NOT mean a diaper and if that is your thing, then I guarantee you that you'e on the wrong blog and please use the nearest exit.)  I decided that my husband had in effect, half lulled me to sleep with rhythmic spanking, sex and orgasm....... and the perfect thing to do was stay in that bed as naked as the day I was born and just take a nice long nap.

Did you know that babies develop a sense of rhythm in the womb when the mother sings to him/her?  Research shows that the lullaby encourages nipple suction in infants and that premature babies benefit from the rhythm of their mothers' singing voice.  I think most of us know that kind of thing, but did you know that when we sing to our babies whether they're in the womb or we're holding them in our arms that the singing is also therapeutic for the mother?  This I did not know.  Yes, I knew it develops bonding,  and I sang sometimes just to get the kid to sleep already, but the singing was also healthy for me?  Interesting.

In TTWD,  a lovely kind of spanking just before bed can put the wife on a fast track to sleep....... is this our from of lullaby?  Is the rhythm of a slightly more than tender slap-slap-slap soothing to us?   Or is it your guy's gentle voice guiding you into the night?

What's your lullaby?

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Mindfulness Spanking

Recently and not to my surprise at all, I was told by my husband that we would soon be meeting in the bedroom for a spanking.  While I was waiting for him to finish up something he was working on, I decided to flip the television channel away from 60 Minutes  because it was discussing something upsetting:  my anxiety has peaked again recently and I am  trying to calm down, not freaking ADD to it.  And by the way, I have an  actual anxiety disorder, so when it acts up, I'm not exaggerating the havoc that it plays with my everyday life.  I don't care that I am sharing that with you here as I have before. It's part of many people's lives, and we're not  to be made to feel "less than" because of it.  Anyway, holding the remote control, fortunately my fingers landed on the PBS station and this gentlemen with a calm demeanor and relaxing voice was speaking on mindfulness.  My brain immediately went Ahhhhhh. Speak to me, kind man.  By now, we've all heard of mindfulness and most of us have probably practiced some form of it.  While I won't get into the specifics here, as I listened to the man and practiced with him what he was instructing, I relaxed a bit.

I will say that if I understand it correctly, one major benefit that he says mindfulness does for the brain is that it forms more connections in your brain and because the brain can change itself (neuro- plasticity),  practicing mindfulness helps improve concentration, clarity of thought,  and even the ability to better multi-task.  I practiced being aware of my body in the moment with him, my breathing, and even focused on noticing the different things in my living room that were a certain color, just acknowledging them and enjoying it.   And because ttwd is never far from my mind, it hit me........ are certain kinds of spankings that our guys give us actually a form of mindfulness?  I was about to be provided with the perfect way to find out.

Storm soon found himself ready for me, paddle in hand, at the side of the bed.  I undressed completely and bent over as he expects me to do. I knew that I was not in any trouble at all and that this would be a spanking that Storm would talk me through.  With his soothing voice just like the presenter on PBS but more intimate (and sexy).  Ahhh, speak to me, my kind man.  I  purposely thought of the feeling of my face pressing into the cool sheets and got distracted by the thought that I needed to change them soon.  But, that's okay because when you're practicing mindfulness, it is natural for your mind to wander many times.  You just bring it back to focus as soon as you notice it doing that.  Kind of like years ago after an exhausting day at work and an even rougher evening getting the children to bed, and now you're finally in your own bed and your husband decides he wants to  treat you to a little oral sex........... You notice things like what's on the top his head, the ceiling needs to be repainted, there are cobwebs in the corners, and what should you make for dinner tomorrow night?  Then I'd realize I'm all distracted and so I get back to just thinking and feeling tongue, clit, tongue, clit.......... there, right back on track again and I know Storm's neck appreciates that I stopped wasting a bit of his time.

"I love when you bend over and take your spanking," is one of the very sexy things Storm says to me, and it always turns me on, but this time I  took it as praise, that I was pleasing him, and that he was assuring me that I was doing as he wishes.  He mentions the special cooking that I have been doing this summer, how much he loves it, that he appreciates all the time I take to prepare it for him, and that it makes him feel that I am taking care of him.  This made me feel loved and appreciated to hear something that I am doing right in a month (or years) full of realizing that somehow, despite my efforts to communicate with sincerity, love, and an open heart,  my pleas for my feelings and convictions to be heard by other loved ones go unanswered.  Talk about anxiety.  GEEZE!  But, step by step, Storm attentively helps me put myself back together.

He praises me for reaching out to a friend that is dear to both of us, for asking for her advice as she has been around the block more than once, as well as around the country and around the world.  Last year when  he mentioned her name during a spanking, I freaked out......... this time, he was right and as grateful to the friend as I was and I did not give one whit that he had just mentioned her name again.  And, heck yes, I knew in that moment that I would be blogging this little side note!  I just smiled to myself and kept my naked ass up in the air anyway!  Laughing!   What can I say? I'm dedicated to the job, I mean Storm.

Storm unaware of my silly thoughts and truly dedicated to the job at hand continues to spank, speak, and soothe.  I soon get back to concentrating on offering myself up to him and truly focusing in on his voice and the spanks and the feeling of him caressing my bare back.  Mindfulness.  I'm doing it!  He goes on to tell me that he wants me to take care of myself, to put myself and my feelings first in specific situations that I cannot share here.  I don't say very much back to him.  When he first started this lasagna style spanking thing, because it made him more vocal, I naturally joined in and made it a conversation.  I have known for a while now that I don't think I should be doing that even though he has not asked me to shut up.  But for the past several times of a longer, more therapeutic type spanking, I only answer his questions when I know he wants one.  I do wonder if he has noticed me being much more quiet.  It makes me feel like I am actively more submissive, which is what we both want.

Soon he asks me to stand up and that means we're taking a short break.  It is time for us to hold one another as we stand at the side of the bed.  I put my face in my favorite spot where his neck meets his shoulder and inhale his unique scent.  Mindfulness.  I am naked.  He is not.  It is a sweet moment and then he asks me if I have anything to say or not.   But, because I am not quite clinging to him along with other body cues he is looking for, we both know the spanking is not quite over yet.  I need more time.  So, he continues to spank for a short bit until he sees with my body language that he has brought me to the place where I needed to be.  Then it is over, I stand up again, and hold onto him like plastic cling-wrap on a save-for-later, mouthwatering, buttery chocolate chip cookie. I feel him, smell him, hear him, and I need him.  Mmmmm....Mindfulness.

Monday, September 9, 2019

Topping from the Bottom.... Let me tell you what I need

Okay, we're all familiar by now with the phrase "topping from the bottom," and while I  haven't seen evidence myself in blog land where someone has actually written that they think one of us gals is still in too much control in their marriage, I am sure that has been someone's opinion at some point.  Rather what I see more often is we girls reflecting inward, criticizing ourselves for topping from the bottom, and then worrying that others would think that's what we're doing.  Personally, I drive myself nuts with this one.

Over the years in our marriage, I discovered that I like slow sex after a huge argument, but I have always preferred more aggressive type love making on his part, not mine.  Sure, we have experimented with me being on top, but that feels like I am in control so I do not prefer that.  However, I can see if the man wants the woman on top and then bosses her around or whatever while she's up there............ laughing.

I fully believe that I have to be honest with Storm when I feel something we're doing just isn't working for me.   Why should I be silent?  What does that gain us?  I'm sorry, but if the spanking technique or the reasoning technique didn't work, then it didn't work.  There are 2 main things right now that I need from Storm in order to make all of this work psychologically for me and therefore, helps put/keep me in a submissive mindset:  Decisiveness and time.

Look, we have a happy, satisfying marriage without ttwd.  We just do and I cannot claim that it has saved our marriage or whatever.  We have not made it to the point in our lives where we have reached a brother and sister phase, a friends only zone, or nagging and yipping back and forth type relationship, and I hope we never do because, yuck.  However, domestic discipline really adds a sexual undercurrent and a closeness between us, and when it all goes smoothly, it is very fulfilling for both of us and it enhances our marriage.  I absolutely crave and love when he is decisive as he exercises his dominance over me, and I love the way my mind and body respond to him ....... and he has told me he loves when I am his submissive wife in the bedroom and outside of it, too.  He's beginning to see more often how an authoritative response such as, "Enough," or "Behave,"  almost immediately softens me.  And that spanking on the golf course last week....... that was probably the most obvious effect to date...... it truly stopped me in my tracks, made me immediately reflective on my attitude, and calmed me.  It wasn't that the spanking was hard or long because, um, not really possible in that situation.  But, it was the emotional component of it, his taking charge, taking a short time to pull me aside, spank me, and tell me that my behavior was not acceptable.

There have been MANY times that Storm and I have had to settle for short spankings due to lack of privacy and while it was important to both of us to at least be able to do that often, it is just what barely holds me over and keeps me from losing my mind until we have a longer period of privacy.  Yes, the shock of a short spanking can sometimes help me switch gears, is a quick connection or check in, or it might just be a reminder to behave today.   But, when I am struggling with my emotions, my anxiety, my hormones, my relationship with Storm, or my relationship with others,  I need a longer spanking.

 That doesn't mean that I want a ton of smacks right in a row that echoes like someone accidentally set off a brick of firecrackers.......  that's intense, but too quick for me.  My mind needs the time to process that Storm is standing at the side of the bed with the paddle, that I know he expects me to get completely naked and bend over the bed.  I need to hear the timbre in his voice as he lays he paddle against my rear end that signals it's about to begin.  I need his words as to why he is spanking me even if I already know the reasons.  I need the spanking for a bit, then the pausing, soft lecturing and instruction, his soothing hand on my back, neck, and in my hair, and then more spanking.  Finally, I feel my body sink into accepting what is happening.  I have already given my permission when we agreed to this long ago, but in the moment, I need the time he puts into a longer session to ease my mind, stop the rat race that is going on in there, to break me, and then to set me free with my demonstration of submission.  Then I am ready to be his submissive wife and the evidence of that is my natural extension and presentation of my now even more upturned bottom.  And he KNOWS this, recognizes the signs for what they are and then he has me completely pliant under his dominant hands, right where he wants me.

In order to get to the place of the paragraph above, I have to communicate with him over and over.  He doesn't just magically know what to do without us having many many conversations, ones that are often repetitive....... but, so worth it once he gets the hang of it and then I can follow and submit.   I was recently telling Storm some of this and he reached his hand out to me, palm up which means, let's go, it's spanking time.  And although I put my hand in his in submission, because I felt that I kind of said I needed to be spanked and I felt that I had put the thought in his mind, I told him that I didn't want to get spanked because I felt that I was topping him from the bottom.   Him, "I don't care what you think it is. Let's go."   Laughing.  Okay, then.  Decisiveness.  Yes!  And off we went...........

What is something that you feel you need in your marriage no matter what the status of ttwd in your home?  Or what was a need that you had in the past and how did you communicate it?

Thursday, September 5, 2019

Why the Lion and the Witch were in the Wardrobe

My apologies to C.S. Lewis for spinning his book title for my own amusement.  As far as witches go, I'm not sure there was ever a meaner one than his White Witch, and I do believe Aslan is the most wonderful  Lion ever to be written about.  The wardrobe was furry and fascinating, but much different than the one Storm and I were in during a recent spanking.

The clothes and coats hanging on both sides of our  rectangular bedroom closet leave just enough room in the middle for two people to walk in single file and take several steps forward until faced with a white wall. There is no snowy white winter found deep within its depths.  There was, however, a dominant male lion, a chair, and a certain witchy gal bent over the sitting lion's lap.

Was this role play?  Nope.  Were we trying to be quiet?  Not this time!  Is there something kinky in there?  Does a paddle count?  Why be in there if you have the whole house to yourselves?  Why retreat to the closet where the sound is muffled by all the clothes, where it might be a bit over warm, and uncomfortable?  Because that exact spot with the exact chair, lion, and little witch where it all began for us.  This is where that very first spanking kicked off our earliest foray into the world of domestic discipline.  This is often the place where my mind retreats while Storm and I are being kinky and intimate.  Those first time butterfly feelings of Oh my gosh, are we really doing this?  My husband is spanking me right now and I'm submitting to him...... and the sting....... although it isn't about the pain, it's about the meaning behind it all.

 We thought with our newfound times of privacy here in our home that we would sort of start this new phase of our lives in the same way Storm started spanking me for discipline and I submitted to it for...... well, to learn to feel more feminine, to express my vulnerability,  and because it's hot.

And hot it was...... a mist of sweat broke out on my naked back.  This spanking hurt.  Although we can't recreate those first few magical moments of me discovering dd online, sharing it with Storm within a day, and getting established in our new roles as dominant husband and submissive wife, we wanted to reestablish with one another that powerful undercurrent of emotional and sexual electricity that leaves me shaky, clinging to him afterwards, with a toasty spanked bottom, that stirring embrace with his erection pressing into my stomach........... yeah that.......... that's why we were in the closet.

Where was your first spanking spot?  Does it hold powerful memories?  Please do tell us.