Do you remember those tan colored pvc pipes with a cap on them that used to stick out of the ground on empty lots here and there? They were mostly flesh/pink colored. That is kind of what I imagined a penis would look like. Like the smooth underside part of a man's forearm ...... with possibly a red helmet on it.
Good God was I wrong. What shocked me the most was the color....... it never occurred to me that the blood rushing to it is what made it hard and kind of red and purple and angry looking like it wanted to shout, "Look at me and let me in!" I stared him straight in his one eye and thought, I'm not sure you're going to fit, Mister!
Well, after decades of marriage, I obviously know the look of Storm's penis quite well. But it doesn't always look the exact same. I find myself thinking one of four things when I see it:
1. Okay, he's going to need some encouragement, teasing, and touching to get him going because he's looking a bit droopy.
2. Ah, look who is interested....... or is he?
3. Oh, now, that's something I could definitely work with!
4. Where the hell did that thing come from? I look up at Storm like What have you been eating? And then I have a little (big) snack of my own!
Speaking of the shapes and sizes of penises, we've been ordering misshaped produce delivery through this company called Imperfect Foods, which I promptly renamed Fucked Up Foods after the second delivery....... Here's why:
|Mr. Potato Head|
|And Mrs. Potato Head|
|Storm named this one Jimmy The Nut.|
|Storm asks, "Does that one remind you of me?"|
|A tiny apple that I cannot resist holding in a baseball grip!|
If you're wondering what's with all the carrot shavings, they end up like this after I put them in the air fryer.
But sometimes they end in the basement with this little girl.
The tiny apple was so cute that we decided to give her a taste of her very first little apple! Press play to see her nibble for 20 seconds!