Naturally, there are many things that we have to open our mouths for -- the dentist, to sing, to eat, to speak, etc. Common phrases containing the worth "mouth" are: word of mouth, mouth of the river, mouth of the cave, melts in your mouth, and what I find interesting is that in all of those cases, the mouth is open, not closed. I wonder, is there anybody that can keep their mouths shut 100 percent of the time in your life? I believe I have not met such a person, ever. Even librarians have to whisper shhh! I think some people manage it for the most part, but it takes great restraint and practice. Sometimes I think the kind of person that can actually do it almost has to kind of not give a shit and never get pissed off, rarely get their feelings hurt, or take a near sense of complacency. *Looks at my HOH* Actually, it is one of our rules now that I am not allowed to say, "You don't care about......." because it isn't true. I have learned that his silence is not equal to not caring. He cares very much. He just has incredible self control over his emotions and actions and his mouth. I don't know how he does it except that he was taught to suppress his emotions and always put others ahead of himself. Kind of good thing, but kind of not at the same time.
So what about no telling secrets, specifically about our ttwd type stuff? I don't know about you, but I keep my mouth shut about that. I went ten years without telling a soul, that is until I found you loud mouths here in blog land. Laughing!
One good thing that came of the time where I had to take it easy with my jaw is that he would sometimes stroke his own dick while watching me use the vibrator on myself. I used to find that, not gross, but not all that enticing, but something has changed. I love seeing him do that now, especially because he's enjoying the view of what I am doing, too!
How this applies in particular to our dd is this: I'm trying to give him some space to figure things out, keep my mouth shut and not suggest as much as I normally would, purposely wait for him to say something before I do. It's a challenge to keep my mouth shut and I'm still working on it. But, he's falling into step with his own dominance and I believe that it is real and not manufactured for my benefit. I feel it. As a result, when he spanked me a few weeks ago, I didn't say what I was feeling afterwards. He just hugged me for a bit. The spanking in itself was not sexual. But, because I felt the connection and the genuineness of it, I had such an overwhelming sense of submission that I could physically feel it. I was trembling just a little bit, my muscles felt a little weak, yes, I was turned on, too, but my sexuality wasn't the primary feeling, nor was his, in my mind. I just wanted to drop to my knees and show him how I felt. But, my inner voice was violently tapping me on the shoulder and the ttwd gods were like shut the fuck up FOR ONCE! Let him do this. Give him time. I hesitated....... because what if that isn't what he wanted in that moment? He probably did, but how could I be sure? I opened my mouth to tell him what I wanted to do and just before I began to speak, HE spoke up and said he wanted to me to suck his dick now. And that made me almost immediately want to come to my computer and tell all of you about it like this:
I can't tell you how much more this meant because he said it and not me, especially following a spanking. I was in love with him and his dick. He's lucky that biting and cannibalism isn't part of our D/s otherwise I'd have had his hot dog with a little mustard and onion for lunch. But a sub does not bite, so I don't know quite what to do with that other than express it ........ so I sank to my knees, tucked my lips around my fangs, opened my mouth, but no words came out because they didn't need to!
How are you with keeping your mouth shut?