Monday, April 12, 2021

Just Keeping my Little Mouth Shut

Naturally, there are many things that we have to open our mouths for  -- the dentist, to sing, to eat, to speak, etc.  Common phrases containing the worth "mouth" are:  word of mouth, mouth of the river, mouth of the cave, melts in your mouth, and what I find interesting is that in all of those cases, the mouth is open, not closed.  I wonder, is there anybody that can keep their mouths shut 100 percent of the time in your life?  I believe I have not met such a person, ever.   Even librarians have to whisper shhh!  I think some people manage it for the most part, but it takes great restraint and practice. Sometimes I think the kind of person that can actually do it almost has to kind of not give a shit and never get pissed off, rarely get their feelings hurt, or take a near sense of complacency.  *Looks at my HOH*  Actually, it is one of our rules now that I am not allowed to say, "You don't care about......." because it isn't true.  I have learned that his silence is not equal to not caring.  He cares very much.  He just has incredible self control over his emotions and actions and his mouth.  I don't know how he does it except that he was taught to suppress his emotions and always put others ahead of himself.  Kind of good thing, but kind of not at the same time. 

So what about no telling secrets, specifically about our ttwd type stuff?  I don't know about you, but I keep my mouth shut about that. I went ten years without telling a soul, that is until I found you loud mouths here in blog land.  Laughing!  

A year ago last October, I posted Jaws and Oral Sex that was about having a jaw problem and I couldn't manage a blow job for Storm.  It took nearly a year for my jaw to mostly heal. Not that I didn't try, but I truly couldn't for a few months because I couldn't open my mouth far enough, (no he doesn't have a chode, but I do enjoy his girth!)  I could only give him some warm up some kisses and then a little later, just partial immersion -- you know, a sprinkle like the Catholics and not a complete dunking like the Baptists.  There was still absolutely no sucking because that hurt me too much still.  I eventually just finished him off with my hands.  Finally the gates loosened up and now he can go all the way through the golden gates and say hello to my uvula once again.  I am learning not to breathe in when he hits the back of my throat. Kkkkuuuuuhhhkkkuuu  is the noise I make when I forget and accidentally almost inhale his dick.  

One good thing that came of the time where I had to take it easy with my jaw  is that he would sometimes stroke his own dick while watching me use the vibrator on myself.  I used to find that, not gross, but not all that enticing, but something has changed.  I love seeing him do that now, especially because he's enjoying the view of what I am doing, too!

How this applies in particular to our dd is this:  I'm trying to give him some space to figure things out, keep my mouth shut and not suggest as much as I normally would, purposely wait for him to say something before I do.  It's a challenge to keep my mouth shut and I'm still working on it. But, he's falling into step with his own dominance and I believe that it is real and not manufactured for my benefit.  I feel it.  As a result, when he spanked me a few weeks ago, I didn't say what I was feeling afterwards.  He just hugged me for a bit.  The spanking in itself was not sexual.  But, because I felt the connection and the genuineness of it, I had such an overwhelming sense of submission that I could physically feel it. I was trembling just a little bit, my muscles felt a little weak, yes, I was turned on, too, but my sexuality wasn't the primary feeling, nor was his, in my mind. I just wanted to drop to my knees and show him how I felt.  But, my inner voice was violently tapping me on the shoulder and the ttwd gods were like shut the fuck up FOR ONCE! Let him do this.  Give him time.  I hesitated....... because what if that isn't what he wanted in that moment?  He probably did, but how could I be sure?  I opened my mouth to tell him what I wanted to do and just before I began to speak, HE spoke up and said he wanted to me to suck his dick now.  And that made me almost immediately want to come to my computer and tell all of you about it like this:  

 I can't tell you how much more this meant because he said it and not me, especially following a spanking.  I was in love with him and his dick. He's lucky that biting and cannibalism isn't part of our D/s otherwise I'd have had his hot dog with a little mustard and onion for lunch. But a sub does not bite, so I don't know quite what to do with that other than express it ........ so I sank to my knees, tucked my lips around my fangs, opened my mouth, but no words came out because they didn't need to! 

How are you with keeping your mouth shut?  


#AtoZChallenge2021

20 comments:

  1. Hi Windy,

    I love this! Biting and cannibalism lol. Good on you for giving Storm space to figure things out. It certainly isn't easy to keep ones mouth shut lol. Something I struggle with. I can totally relate to your story. It means so much more when it comes from him.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hi, Roz! You have a hard time keeping your lips zipped when it comes to your hubby,too? LOL You are Scrappy, so you must! Glad you can relate.... a half second later and I've had blown it. Well, I did 'blow' it, but you know what I mean. LOL! Hugs, Windy

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  2. Enjoyed this entry so much - funnily I am the exact opposite to you - I keep my mouth shut more than I should - apparently - according to Sir Steve. He gets exasperated with me when he feels that something is on my mind but I refuse to talk about it. BUT reading here this morning I realized I see some similarities between Storm and Sir Steve - Sir Steve doesn't talk all that much (bugs the hell out of me!!) BUT he does notice !! (remember my blog entry about shaving and how I didn't think he noticed or cared?? WRONG!!!)

    Now that's funny - Sir Steve doesn't talk much and it bugs me! I don't talk much and it bugs him! makes me go 'mmmmmmmm' maybe he and I should work more on saying what's on our minds??

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    1. Hello, MStar! Okay, opposites? So you both need to talk....oh, especially YOU when HE knows something is up. Start yacking, girl! So our Sirs are alike in their not talking much, eh? It drives me insane sometimes I want to light a fire under his ass, but we're not into that, so..... laughing. Yes, I remember Sir Steve noticing and caring about your shaving down yonder. Yes, you 2 need to schedule talking appointments. Add to the list of your ttwd things to work on, maybe? Hugs, Windy

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  3. I laughed at your wanting to run off right away and blog all about it -- and that Kermit gif is perfect! Lol.

    I go through phases where I don't feel like talking -- like, AT ALL; even saying "good morning" feels overwhelming and unnecessary -- and in general, I think a lot but don't necessarily *say* much. My husband, on the other hand, will yammer until my ears bleed about ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING THAT'S ON HIS MIND. NEVERMIND THAT I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN RIGHT NOW. *laugh*

    So... Balance. :)

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    1. Hi, Mrs. Fever! I love the Kermit gifs, and the typing one is my favorite because that is exactly how I feel when I want to talk to you gals out her on the net. In fact, I often think of things to blog while Storm and I are "busy" in the closet ...not on purpose, but my mind wanders sometimes (he says he has a cure for that. lol)

      Wow, it is really interesting to me that you don't want to talk at all sometimes, but that you do think a lot. I'm glad you let us know that....helps me understand differences in personalities in our home and family (and friends) a bit better. To know what is actually okay and normal for some.

      Laughing at "good morning" feeling unnecessary. I don't like the words because I hate mornings, but I will say hi or hello or at least wave if I am a real grump.

      I love when others use the word yammering. It paints just the right picture, ears bleeding and all. Laughing again. So fascinating that you and your hubby have reversed (stereotypical) roles of who is the talker and who is not.

      Ah, yes, balance -- that illusive thing that I strive for in many areas, but it usually eludes me. Good point though! Hugs, Windy

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  4. I too go through phases. But mostly I talk to process, can't really stand small talk or idle chit chat- which bothers me most about this pandemic, conversations have gotten so surface like.

    As far as in a Ds realm communication as we know is key- but even more key is knowing when and what to communicate. Intel is great, instruction not so much. Lol.

    It's wonderful to hear you had some deep feelings during this event and that Storm managed to build on them before you might have toned them down a bit by saying something ( just been my experience no judgement )

    W

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    1. Hi, Willie!

      You are one of the most "processy" persons that I know. Others do it, including me, but your way is unique and interesting. No, do not take that as an insult. You're an analyzer. Nothing wrong with that except if you can't shut your mind off (like me) sometimes. That blows!

      I can see that you like the chit chat crap about as much as I do. I think we learned this about one another. :)

      Great line, "intel is great, instruction not so much!" HAHAHAHAHA Love it!

      Yeah, these deep feeling happened weeks ago when I was feeling well. Hope to get there again sometime soon.

      I did not take that as judgment at all. It's the point of my post that I need to shut the heck up and let him take over so that it enhances the whole thing instead of being diminished by my whining. lmao Hugs, Windy

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  5. Well you know me - I never talk too much or have an opinion or give advice... Hahahaha, can't even type that without laughing. I may open my mouth out here, but you know my problem is not talking enough when it comes to talking to Nick. I need to learn to open my mouth with him. Funny how we're coming at the same problems from different directions, but still trying to get to the same place.

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    1. Hi, PK. Do I know you? LOL You do give advice, but you are also humble and can laugh about it, so that makes it more fun. I never know what I am in for when a message from you starts off, "You make never talk to me again, but ......" Laughing.

      YES, you DO need to open your southern mouth with Nick! Love your last line...that could sum up a lot of us in blog land, don't you think? "coming at same problems from different directions, but still trying to get to the same place!" That is great! That could be a post all on its own! Hugs, Windy

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  6. This whole post was great, but, uh, I lost my last mouthful of coffee to "a sprinkle like the Catholics and not a complete dunking like the Baptists". Being raised Catholic, it was just too perfect a description. :) Ah well, it's late in the day, I didn't really need that last mouthful anyway.

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    1. Hi, Penelope! Well, at least it was the last mouthful and not the first mouthful? I love the first mouthful of coffee in the morning.

      You know, I figured someone out there would get a kick out of the baptismal references, but I wasn't sure who. Also, I laughed when I wrote it because I was raised Pentecostal, which can be just as strict or more than Baptists and we do dunk fully, but figured more people would know what a Baptist was than a Pentecostal. LOL Anyway, whatever one's current or prior religion, you and I thought it was funny! Yay! Thank you for the smile! Hugs, Windy

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    2. I actually found it more sad that it was the last mouthful. If I'd spit out the first, I'd at least have the consolation of knowing there was more.
      I truly enjoy reading here as I always, always get a laugh. Unless it's a nice sappy post and then I just get warm fuzzies.

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    3. Penelope,
      I'm sorry I made you spit your last sip of coffee! LOL Maybe I should put a disclaimer at the top of my posts for you will know it's sappy or funny so you don't spit coffee while laughing? haha Warm fuzzies are good though!

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  7. "HE spoke up and said he wanted to me to suck his dick now"

    ^^^ oooh hot hot hot, being spoken to like that presses my buttons, and not the ones on the laptop :)

    I'm a naturally chatty person (I know that must come as a shock) so yes not very good at being quiet, put it this way when I'm home alone and cooking for example I talk to the food as I'm preparing it!, however there are times when he expects me to be silent, I have got used to this, not always easy but he deserves to get a word in occasionally!

    I read the post about your jaws via the link, sounds rather painful, even if it did make me giggle, sorry :)

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    1. Hi, Claire! I know with the buttons! Hot, yes! Wait though, how many buttons do you have? More than me? LOL

      Laughing. I don't know if you're chatty or not, but you are friendly and communicate well, so that works for me! Oh gosh, talking to your food though as you're preparing it....like, "I'm sorry, but this is going to hurt when I cut you?" LOL Well, if you do talk that much, I'm not surprised that an HOH would require silence sometimes. I'm positive Storm should try that with me, but I doubt he will. LOL

      It's all good that you laughed at my Jaws post. It was supposed to be funny in the midst of my pain! LOL! Hugs, Windy

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  8. Wow, I loved this post!

    Right now, things are stressed here and keeping my mouth shut is a big problem. He would rather me say something and instead I am quiet for days.

    Hopefully it will change soon
    Hugs
    Boo

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    1. Hi, Boo! Happy you enjoyed this one!

      Yeah, you are good (or is it bad? lol) at shutting him out when you are angry or hurt, which is understandable. I hope you guys get it worked out soon.

      Hugs,
      Windy

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  9. I admit - I wish I were more like you. I am not good at communicating on the really personal, intimate topics and neither is my husband. But we are getting a bit better at it. Sort of. Kind of. Sometimes.

    Now, after reading your post (and getting in a few good laughs) I'm thinking that maybe there just isn't a "right" amount. Too much, too little, too often, not often enough... Maybe we are all just too self-critical and we should just go with what's happening at the time and assume it's the right thing at that moment. Maybe we overthink and overanalyze and then we expect our partners to do the same - when really they're just going with the moment then moving on happily.

    In any case, I loved every bit of this post!

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    1. Hi, Deena! Well, you seem calm, so I'd like to be more like you. I'm too anxious.

      It is interesting how we ladies vary on what we will say to our guys and vice versa. Odd because with others, I will hold back, but with him, nope, I'm not doing it for the most part and the reason is because I trust him to handle my feelings, rational or not. And he does. However, does that mean I need to blah blah blah at him? No, it does not. So I am working on that part. In our case, Storm gets stuck with thoughts all running around in his head and doesn't want to speak until he decides on the right thing. In the meantime, that appears to me that he is empty headed or doesn't care. lol Obviously, neither of those apply to him, but harder for me to see when I am hurt.

      Healthy communication is what we're striving for. I think you're correct in that there might not be such a thing as "the right amount." I don't know why we sometimes struggle with discussing more intimate things.... the willingness to make ourselves vulnerable, perhaps? I do encourage you to keep talking about those things even if uncomfortable....it can get easier and make bedroom things even better! Woo! Hoo!

      I think of mindfulness when you're saying our partners just go with the moment. But, I do think they're oblivious sometimes, too. LOL!

      Thanks for making me think..... but not overthink. ;) And, yes, I tend to overthink most everything like many (but not all) gals! Glad the post brought you some laughs! Yay! Hugs, Windy

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