Some people love retro decorating in their homes while others simply enjoy visiting a diner with a jukebox, booths, checkered tile, milkshakes and burgers for a bit of nostalgia. Everybody loves a retroactive paycheck (as long as the original paycheck is still on time.) But, have your ever thought about or had a retroactive spanking?
We've all read or actually experienced where a gal feels so much better when she is held accountable through spanking --then there is peace, she releases the guilt, and all is well. Hmmm. I guess we just haven't been able to practice it enough for me to experience that...... except for the one Sunday about two months ago where Storm was an HOH that I was amazed by and wasn't used to, but it all went perfect without zero input from moi ....... and I actually did stop feeling guilty. I guess I did learn my lesson because when we argued more than a month later and I did not want to sleep in bed with him, I remembered the effective way he made me write lines as I was naked about how damaging that is to our relationship. I don't want to do that again. And be spanked beforehand and afterwards.
But that was for something current. What about going back as far as the beginning of marriage? Is that too far? What about just major events that I know I failed at and do feel guilty about even though he has forgiven me? Just to be clear, Storm is not holding anything against me and this is not his idea.
So is a retroactive spanking in order? And is that even a thing? Ever done it? What do you gals and guys think?
Retroactive spanking, I love it! I think if there are issues from the past that still cause guilt or that remain an issue between you, a spanking to put the issue to bed may just help. I guess it depends on the nature of the issue and how deep the feelings go.
Years ago when we had an active dynamic we purchased what we called a vanilla collar. It was actually a necklace with two intertwined hearts. The idea was that it would be a symbol of our dynamic and a daily reminder of our roles. We had a 'collaring ceremony' which included some naked kneeling and a spanking to clear the air and resolve any past issues to allow us to move forward with a clean slate, so to speak. That was the closest we came to a retrospective spanking.
That does sound somewhat like a retro spanking to me since it cleared the air and left the negative of the past behind (pun intended.) lol I can't imagine you being too naughty, Roz. But, you aren't called Scrappy for nothin', I bet! Thanks for sharing part of your story here and encouraging conversation. Love, WindyDelete
(my initial reaction this morning when I saw a new post from you - 'AHHHHHHHHHH Windy's back - cheeky grin)ReplyDelete
Ok retroactive spankings?? my old dom did try that once.. but I got bent out of shape over it... felt it was unfair and felt a blind sided... then it left me feeling angry ..
so retroactive spankings didn't work for me...
I didn't know I went anywhere! LOL But, I guess I did go from blogging intensely to not for a bit there. We need some time here for me to build up some more stories to share.Delete
I wouldn't want a retro anything from an ex like the one you mention. I'm sorry that happened to you. Not a healthy thing and I'm glad you're out of it.
I had a healthier kind in mind where we would mutually agree to blah blah blah.... but I believe Storm would be reluctant because he does not dwell on the past and he tries to stop me from doing the same. Thanks for sharing! Windy
I would think this would be a very personal thing. Something that would work very well for some couples and possibly not at all for others. I like the idea and wish it would work for me, but I don't think it would.ReplyDelete
Yep, like all of DD, TTWD, and D/s, etc.... all very personal and special to each one of us in our own way.Delete
Wishing for more spankings for you and for me and for all who desire it! lol Windy
Never had a retroactive spanking . In fact we implemented a punishment within 24 hour rule ( didn't mean the spanking had to happen, just that the notification that one was going to did).ReplyDelete
I have had plenty of reset spankings, either for me or for him. Some people might see them as clean slate spankings but I just viewed them as a new starting point.
I have never had a spanking absolved me of any guilty feelings Either I've felt badly for my words or actions or I didn't. Either way a spanking never changed that. Maybe I don't subscribe to the idea 'tit for tat'? Like I hurt our relationship and now I get physically hurt for it and then it will all be good? I do know B has felt much, MUCH better after punishing me- on occassion. On other occasions that hasn't helped either.
I am cracking up over here at the possible scenarios and conversation there had to be between you and B to come up with the 24 hour rule. lmao You do something spankable and then he wait a week and tells you he is going to spank you for it ..... or something like that. I can imagine the thought train in your head. That might not be it, but it's funny to think about because I have often told Storm that we need "a statute of limitations" on the possible spanking window as well because I aint waitin' around forever. I've also said we need to have a rule that he has to remember exactly why I am in trouble even if it's 3 weeks after I committed an offense. ROFL Neither of those suggestions stuck.Delete
Yes, resets and role affirmation spankings are more common here.... and kinky ones.
Well, at least one of you feels better after a spanking sometimes, eh? lol Again, you made me laugh with "either I have felt badly for my words or I didn't." That's so you... lmao
Yeah, I doubt the retro thing will occur here.... there is just a couple of times in our marriage where I look back and wonder what in the world was I thinking, but at this point, I couldn't tell you what the fight was even about. I just feel bad about it. lol Storm's approach is "we don't want to talk about that," kind of thing.
I also don't feel guilty for being a crab or irritated even though I should. I do get spanked for that sometimes though!
Thanks for the conversation, Willie! Windy
I only give spankings as a fun activity (not as "punishment"), but I admit there have been times when I've been like, "And THIS -- *swat* -- is for stepping on my foot yesterday! And THIS -- *swat* is because last month when I wanted to go to dinner, you were late getting home to take me out" -- and etc. Lol. So I could see adding things like "that one time back in 2007 when you got BBQ sauce on my brand new jacket" or some such.ReplyDelete
Does that count as retro? *laugh*
If not... Well, I do love me some retro decor! ;)
Laughing. YES, that all absolutely counts as retro! That's kind of how some of the dd reasoning would go in my mind if I were the one dolling out the swats. "And THIS is because you didn't mow the lawn on the correct setting!" would fit things at our house today if it were up to me. LOL!Delete
We don't do very much punishment, to be honest. Storm is so dang hard to offend, it's difficult to get into much trouble. I am trying though! LOL
Most of our spanking stuff just turns sexy or is sexy from the beginning if he gets a bit of his Dom on.
Thanks for the laughs, Feve! Windy
Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt as they say!ReplyDelete
It was something that I was carrying guilt over that Bear really had no need to revisit. I was eventually having dreams/nightmares and sleepless nights after our dynamic got into full 'swing' (lol).
Anyway, I told him I needed closure and he told me he was fine but if it was going to help me get over it than that was what was going to happen.
It DID happen, it was not sexy, made me hot because he was on his game but not in a horny way, just in appreciation. Anyway, I finally stopped dreaming and being guilty and was able to put it to bed in my own head. So yes, I say it is a thing for some of us and if you think it may be a thing for you than it probably is.
Good luck, Windy! <3
Oh, wow, this is a great example of what I am asking about. Good for you! Glad your guy got his Dom on and made that happen so you could let go of it finally. Now I am wondering what "made me hot but not in a horny way" means! Sounds yummy! :) Thanks, Nijintje for sharing your experience with a retroactive spanking here! Hugs, WindyDelete
Sorry so late, Windy! I don't get notifications and I never know I have a reply! lol Anyway, what I mean is that it was enticing because of the control and direction He showed BUT it was more of a respect and 'awe' state that makes one want to be around, even if sex is not the goal.Delete
Am I just making this more confusing!?!? lol It's in keeping with the difference between lust and love, you can have both in sex but they are not always together.
Hope you are still doing well, I'm crossing my fingers for some more free time soon! OYE LoL
I don't think we've done far retroactive spankings. We did use to do a weekly and then a nightly maintenance spanking though.ReplyDelete
I think it could be helpful depending upon the mindset - if the sub really feels guilt that is still affecting them, that atonement would provide closure and help them move on.